Have you ever found yourself in such a comically tragic situation that it lands you in the hospital? That's exactly where our friend, the uproarious stand-up comedian Andy Calderon, found himself after a face-off with his French bulldog went hilariously awry. This episode of MindBuzz is all about embracing the humor in life's faceplants, diving into the nostalgia of wrestling pay-per-views with the same energy we used to reserve for Saturday morning cartoons.
Wrestling moves on grandmas, stone cold stunners, open mic struggles, and the pursuit of the perfect roast—our conversation with Andy spans the spectrum of comedy gold. Amber and I swap stories about the journey from open mic nights to comedy shows, the camaraderie we share with fellow comics, and the occasional bombing that leaves us yearning for a time machine. Whether you're a wrestling aficionado, a stand-up comedy connoisseur, or just in need of a good laugh, this episode is a ringside seat to the riotous world of humor.
As we wrap up, we get real about the less-than-glamorous side of life, from unexpected paternity surprises to the quirky tales of post-surgery recovery. We share how personal experiences become the fodder for authentic humor, and the light-hearted side of otherwise daunting moments. So tune in, and let's turn those misadventures into a barrel of laughs together. And don't forget, if you're looking for more chuckles and camaraderie, I'll be at the Poodle Laughs open mic, ready to keep the buzz going.
My Grito Industries
mygrito.net
Subscribe to The Mindbuzz Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIYj7eDCsV3YPzxv7VRKZKg
Don't forget to follow us on Instagram @themindbuzz https://www.instagram.com/themindbuzz/ to keep up with our hosts, guests, and upcoming events!
See you on the next one!
"King without a Throne" is performed by Bad Hombres
King without a Throne Official Music Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNhxTYU8kUs
King without a Throne
https://open.spotify.com/track/7tdoz0W9gr3ubetdW4ThZ8?si=9a95947f58bf416e
Have you ever found yourself in such a comically tragic situation that it lands you in the hospital? That's exactly where our friend, the uproarious stand-up comedian Andy Calderon, found himself after a face-off with his French bulldog went hilariously awry. This episode of MindBuzz is all about embracing the humor in life's faceplants, diving into the nostalgia of wrestling pay-per-views with the same energy we used to reserve for Saturday morning cartoons.
Wrestling moves on grandmas, stone cold stunners, open mic struggles, and the pursuit of the perfect roast—our conversation with Andy spans the spectrum of comedy gold. Amber and I swap stories about the journey from open mic nights to comedy shows, the camaraderie we share with fellow comics, and the occasional bombing that leaves us yearning for a time machine. Whether you're a wrestling aficionado, a stand-up comedy connoisseur, or just in need of a good laugh, this episode is a ringside seat to the riotous world of humor.
As we wrap up, we get real about the less-than-glamorous side of life, from unexpected paternity surprises to the quirky tales of post-surgery recovery. We share how personal experiences become the fodder for authentic humor, and the light-hearted side of otherwise daunting moments. So tune in, and let's turn those misadventures into a barrel of laughs together. And don't forget, if you're looking for more chuckles and camaraderie, I'll be at the Poodle Laughs open mic, ready to keep the buzz going.
My Grito Industries
mygrito.net
Subscribe to The Mindbuzz Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIYj7eDCsV3YPzxv7VRKZKg
Don't forget to follow us on Instagram @themindbuzz https://www.instagram.com/themindbuzz/ to keep up with our hosts, guests, and upcoming events!
See you on the next one!
"King without a Throne" is performed by Bad Hombres
King without a Throne Official Music Video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNhxTYU8kUs
King without a Throne
https://open.spotify.com/track/7tdoz0W9gr3ubetdW4ThZ8?si=9a95947f58bf416e
The Mind Buzz now partnered with Migrito Industries. Latino culture and Latino experience. I love House of Chingasos because I like T-shirts that fit great and are comfortable to wear. I wear them on the podcast and to the carne asadas.
Speaker 2:Click the affiliate link in the show description and use promo code THEMINDBUZZ that's T-H-E-M-I-N-D-B-U-Z-Z to receive 10% off your entire purchase. The cash saved will go directly to the MindBuzz podcast to help us do what we do best, and that's bringing you more MindBuzz content. Click the link in the show description for more. The MindBuzz is powered by MindBuzz Media. Mindbuzz Media is an on-site video and audio podcast production company. Have you ever thought about starting your own video and audio podcast, or do you have an existing podcast that you want to take to the next level? Mindbuzz Media brings a professional podcast studio to you. Visit mindbuzzorg for more.
Speaker 2:May 4th, michilada Rumble in the city of Santa Anita. Check out the link for tickets. The Mind Buzz will be out there under the media tent and we will also be judging all the micheladas. Come out may 4th, santa anita, michelada rumble. See you guys there. Let's go the Mind Buzz, let's go. Boom. What is up? Mind Buzz universe. Welcome back to the Mind Buzz podcast. I am your host, gil. Mindbuzz is part of the my Grito Podcast Network. It's me again, and behind the screen that you guys cannot see is the co-host and producer of the MindBuzz podcast, amber Whatisup.
Speaker 1:Hey.
Speaker 2:How you doing today. I'm all right Hanging, hanging in there, we're all right, we're hanging in there today, somebody like hexed me why, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I've been sick for okay. Wait, what did I say earlier? I said I'm not sick I have an infection, a bacterial infection awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds worse. Just say you're sick. Jesus christ, I got an infection.
Speaker 1:No, that sounds bad infection.
Speaker 2:So I finally found the source of what's been making me sick awesome so we're here to tackle it I'm very happy for you to say that on air send prayers people are listening to this podcast or watching this podcast, and and, uh, I'm just glad that you can share that with them yeah, thoughts and prayers please for amber and my nose for just 25 cents a day that you can sponsor.
Speaker 1:A new nose, maybe a new nose yeah, there we go.
Speaker 2:Nose job amber needs a nose job. Ladies and gentlemen, go to mindbuzzorg and see how you can help her get a new nose. Thank you, uh. Without, uh, further ado, let's get into today's guest. But first, um, before we have, we get into today's guest, a very good friend of mine, a very funny man, stand-up comedian, andy. We do have an official my Grito Weekly, amber, take it away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so 3LH continues their tour, visiting cities such as Roseville, fresno, santa Maria, ventura, highland and back to Los Angeles. For any of our listeners from the MindBuzz universe that happen to be in these surrounding cities, go check them out and let them know we sent you. Bad Hombres will be performing this Saturday at Boomtown Brewery in downtown LA. They perform at 4pm, so come check them out. Harless Sweetwater will be performing at the Poor House in Oceanside on April 6th. Maria Sanchez and the Midnight Groove will be performing at.
Speaker 3:Stephen's.
Speaker 1:Steakhouse for Soldi's Night on Sunday, April 14th Catch a dinner and a show. The Paranoias will be performing at Skyland once again this year on April 20th. Blaze, blaze y'all. What does that mean?
Speaker 2:Blaze it.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, oscar Inspector will be headlining this show. La Rosa Noire also has a show on 420 in Chicago. We are starting to see a theme here. Oh my God, oscar. For more details on these shows, visit the band's Instagram account. Also, don't forget to check out the last episode of the my Grito podcast. Oscar and Gil interviewed Angie Monroy from McCharmleys. Interviewed Angie Monroy from McCharmley's. The next episode will release this Friday, march 29th, with comedian Jerry Garcia. I'm not going to do it. Lastly, michelada Rumble will be on May 4th. You can get your tickets by simply visiting the MyGrito Instagram bio and click on the link. Several of my Grito family will be in attendance.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, may 4th, get your tickets for Michi La the Rumble hosted by comedian George Perez. There we go, put on by Super Steve Flores from the West coast pop lock podcast, part of the migrito podcast network. Do we got anything else? Yeah, go for it all right. Without further ado, let's get into today's guest. He is a very funny friend of mine. He's a stand-up comedian. Everybody give it. Give it up for Andy Calderon. What is up? What's up? Thanks, man, for being here. Appreciate it, dude.
Speaker 3:Thank you for having me. My voice is cracking. I'm glad that you got me sick. Oh my God.
Speaker 1:I'm good.
Speaker 3:I'm good, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2:You're good. I should have taken the reins on the Migrate the Weekly. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:Brains on the Migrate the Weekly. I'm sorry, it's okay, it's okay.
Speaker 2:You're good.
Speaker 1:It was between the snot and my throat.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you can get anything here from the podcast. Gross outs laughs everything but Andy. Thanks man.
Speaker 3:Appreciate it. Thank you guys for having me. This place is nice man. I love your setup. It looks cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm jealous.
Speaker 2:I wish I could have it. It's cool, man. It's taken a very long time to get here A couple of years blood, sweat and tears, sacrificing a nice living space. I was just hanging out here right watching my laptop, because that's what I have to do. I can't. There's no couch. I can't. I really miss a couch, to be honest, dude they're overrated.
Speaker 3:You're good. Yeah, this is a good sacrifice are they really? Yeah, we can just sit there and chill and fall asleep on it. I'd rather be chilling in there.
Speaker 2:This is badass no dude, but I I think that's what I like.
Speaker 3:You know, there there are certain naps that you like, and I think falling asleep on a couch is probably one of the best feelings ever I got two french bulldogs and when I sit on my couch they just go ham on me like I can't relax on the couch, like I'm bald right. So anytime I sit on the they just start licking my head. I don't know. Apparently my head tastes good.
Speaker 2:Probably dude.
Speaker 3:One of the times my dog bit my ear and I had to go to the hospital.
Speaker 2:Jesus.
Speaker 3:My little one just likes to lick my head or whatever and she nipped my ear and it got infected and I had to go to the hospital because it swelled up like an MMA fighter.
Speaker 2:You got cauliflower ear.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a crazy story. I had to go to the hospital and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3:I had to get a shot in my ass, oh, my God you want to hear the story about that yeah, dude. So, yeah, she bit me. She was licking my ears, I had my ears stretched out and she bit the inner. Let me see oh, okay oh okay, I used to have like oh, there's a hole in there. Yeah, my, where the plugs?
Speaker 2:used to be.
Speaker 3:Oh okay, she used to lick my head and she nipped my ear.
Speaker 2:Wait, let me see it again. Okay, I say yeah, but you have two, there's two piercings.
Speaker 3:I've made a stretch out on both. Like I have two, I used to have two one on, one on the bottom, one on top.
Speaker 3:Yeah, gotcha so she used to lick my head all the time, right, and then one time she bit my ear and then I didn't pay no attention to it and it got infected so it swelled up. I went to the hospital and they're like unfortunately, we're gonna have to give you a shot in your rear end. I was like why? Like that's the part of your body, I guess, that has the most muscles, like have you seen my ass? And then they sent in the nurse. She's the hottest nurse in the whole building. I'm like of course that's so embarrassing.
Speaker 3:She tells me to to drop my pants and to put my hands on the table and she's prepping the, the vaccine, right. And so I'm sitting there and she's like all right, uh, sir, you need to put it down more. I was like, why? She's like because I need to be able to disinfect the whole area. I was like, all right, all right, so I put my pants down and I'm standing there waiting and just standing with my hank hill frog ass. You know, I was so embarrassed. And then she comes to give me the shot and I started flinching. She's like why are you sweating? Like what's wrong? I'm like I don't want to do this. I'm sorry she gives me the shot. Burn so bad man. Like they make you sit down in the room next door, like for the burn to go away or whatever, I don't know, but it was embarrassing.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God, I used to tell my daughters, every time they go to the doctor, the doctor's going to give you a shot in the booty. I got a shot in the booty that day.
Speaker 2:It was horrible so just from your ear being infected, they have to give you a shot in your they need to give me, I guess, antibiotics.
Speaker 3:I have no idea. That's why I was like why what?
Speaker 1:I get a shot in my ass.
Speaker 3:I don't know so you don't contract like rabies or some kind of diseases that dogs have, I know it's true it was embarrassing man like this is the first time I've told a story outside of my family. My kids, they all laugh at me about it.
Speaker 2:But whatever you know perfect way to tell a story on a live podcast that everybody can listen to I guess, whatever that's awesome. Oh well, thanks for the vulnerable story. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 3:That's why I don't wear my plugs anymore, because my dogs used to bite at them.
Speaker 2:Oh shoot, yeah, that makes sense. Dude, how big did you go on the plugs?
Speaker 3:Well, this was high school. The bottom ones was like a little over an inch.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:The top one was like a chapstick cap.
Speaker 2:Okay, gotcha chapstick cap.
Speaker 3:I was poor. This is like the early 2000s, like we didn't have like plugs and all this dicey use, like you know, like capri sun straws, coffee straws, um boba straws, just that's how I sized up and I use real tapers. Oh, people use tapers like we use. I started with nails. That's when I jesus christ first years with nails, just took a nail and shoved it in the the piercing hole. And then capri sun straws. I sized up like that McDonald's straws, whatever it was, I don't remember.
Speaker 3:But Boba straws were good ones. I literally didn't have earrings for a long time, it was just all straws.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, that's how you know somebody's from the IE dude.
Speaker 3:One time my cousin was filming something for his school project and we went to the park to film like a fake rumble or something, and the cops got called and then they just come and they were searching us, whatever they were doing like we were like we're filming here, we're not, this isn't real, you know. And the cops sling the straws in my ears. He's like what's this for? Are you gonna snort some coke? I was like what?
Speaker 2:that's amazing dude. Andy killed her on dude. I'm super ecstatic that you're here. Dude, really appreciate it.
Speaker 3:This is my first time ever being on a podcast you guys pop my cherry.
Speaker 2:I've been invited to other ones, just scheduling hasn't worked out really part of the podcasting stuff is the scheduling is the most tedious and freaking, headbanging thing. I'm super excited that you're a a wwe fan. I you know what there's. There's a uh wwf okay oh, gee, okay. So there's. I'm beginning to see a pattern here of comics and being wrestling fans, right like I think owen parker is also a wrestling fan he called me a bandwagon because I like stone cold.
Speaker 3:I'm like he was the shit back then. What do you mean? Like he? His is his generation is like the early, like 2000s and up.
Speaker 2:I was in the 90s, early 2000s, yeah I didn't really get into it until 99 because I didn't have cable growing up, and when Smackdown became part of the UPN network, that's when I started watching it. It was like it was around my birthday too. Pull up the first episode of Smackdown. I want to say it's August 28th 1999.
Speaker 3:I remember that because they named it after the Rocks move right.
Speaker 2:Right, I hope I get this right.
Speaker 3:It was like Monday Night Raw and then they got that it was like sometimes they would do, like a random one, like on Tuesdays at like one in the morning, like people you never even heard of.
Speaker 2:Oh, it was October. Wait, hold on. No. Oh, this is yeah. When was the first episode of SmackDown where it says people ask when? Scroll up right there April 29th. Okay, april, I thought it was August. I said August 28th, so it's April 29th 1999. That's when I started watching it.
Speaker 3:I grew up watching it. My aunts and my grandma, like they used to, my grandpa used to watch it, like the early 90s hulk hogan stuff. I remember that as a kid watching that. But I got into early 90s like, like you said, um attitude era. That's what they called it yeah, the attitude era like stone cold. The rock, triple h, all the, all those guys. It was the best mankind came the undertaker I Mankind at a metal fest one time.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 3:I don't know. It was a metal fest in San Bernardino maybe 10 years ago. Randomly they were doing autograph signings.
Speaker 2:Oh shit.
Speaker 3:You had to pay for him to sign something. I just wanted to shake his hand.
Speaker 2:Was he in character?
Speaker 3:No, he was just. I guess he's in character he just wears sweatpants and a t-shirt.
Speaker 2:That's Mick Foley dude.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's how he wears, you know.
Speaker 2:I feel like he was just playing himself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he looked old, though for sure Really, but I'm surprised he's still alive man. See, all these wrestlers die young. I think he got it the worst out of everyone. You know Bodily injuries and stuff like that.
Speaker 2:He was crazy. I feel like he was the only one that actually jumped off of Hell in a Cell. I think Shane McMahon has done it. Who else Taking big bums over the Hell in a Cell?
Speaker 3:I don't recall.
Speaker 2:Ryan Dunne, there's not that many.
Speaker 3:That wasn't even scripted. He just went up there. They weren't even supposed to go up there, that's right. I just watched an interview with Bolton and they were talking about it. He just went up there. They weren't even supposed to go up there like he's. That's right. I just watched a an interview with bolton and they're talking about it. He just went up there and they're like their things were held on by zip ties and they could hear it cracking.
Speaker 3:They were worried they were gonna fall through oh my god that's why he kind of like, just throw me off, like, and then he went back up there that like he wouldn't quit like even after he, like all that craziness. He came back later, like like in another match.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, it's just crazy. Yeah, that's right. And then even the first. Well, the first one wasn't scripted. The second bump too, that he took off Hell in a Cell with the Undertaker chokeslamming him through the Hell in a Cell. That wasn't scripted either. It wasn't supposed to break, or something like that right.
Speaker 3:He said that, uh, they heard him cracking and breaking and he did the choke slam and then he was like oh no you can see the footage of of undertaker.
Speaker 2:You can see the actual can't pull it up ember of the footage of undertaker. Like he completely shocked, because I think in the same interview he was saying like oh, I thought he like died yeah, he was.
Speaker 3:When he threw him off onto the table, he was like get up, get up, get up. He started moving. He was like, oh god, thank god, and then he came back up mankind hell in the cell at king of the ring dude.
Speaker 2:I remember I had a neighbor back in the day. That was yeah, that one, I had a neighbor.
Speaker 3:See, that's the interview I was talking about, is this?
Speaker 2:one.
Speaker 3:They're doing a commentary on that. No way he can get up before I get there. See, that's how he looked when I met him. Just like that, like sweatpants and a T-shirt.
Speaker 2:How you doing, man. So my neighbor had the King of the Ring on VHS and we would watch it over and, over and over again, because there's nothing else that we did.
Speaker 3:I didn't really grow up with money either, but once in a blue moon our parents would let us order pay-per-views and all the neighborhood kids would come by and watch. So like those were highlights of my life, I remember that it's cool that my parents allowed us to do that once in a blue moon do you remember the last?
Speaker 2:uh, put it like fast, forward it. I want to see them fall off.
Speaker 1:Oh, they're watching the they're, so they're commenting on the entire match yeah, and I remember being up on top of there thinking to myself I don't recall there being any zip ties in that John Michaels Undertaker match. No, I don't know what they did differently, but see, you can see the middle twist ties there. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh Dude. The 25th anniversary of Helen Lassell.
Speaker 3:He's like you're not putting me through that, yeah.
Speaker 1:And watch how quickly you shut that shit down.
Speaker 3:Are you crazy?
Speaker 1:We just stepped.
Speaker 3:That would have been entertaining going through that for down. Are you crazy? We just stepped. That would have been entertaining going through that for sure.
Speaker 2:You would have died. Here it goes, here it is he throws him off.
Speaker 3:See, he throws him off, and then later he comes back. He wasn't supposed to come back. He comes back and then he chokeslams him through.
Speaker 1:Oh man, this is crazy.
Speaker 2:And I'm looking over, over and all I'm waiting on is to see if you're right but that's how it was just back in the day.
Speaker 3:dude Growing up I grew up in San Bernardino as well, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And all the neighborhood kids were all into wrestling. I wasn't into Pokemon or Dragon Ball Z, I was into wrestling right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:We used to do backyard wrestling, my friends. We built a fake little crappy ring in the backyard and had ropes and poles from tents or whatever.
Speaker 3:Whatever we could have imposed and stuff and we used to back at wrestle all the time. Then one time we were having a ladder match and we put the ladder against a palm tree. It had a fake little cheap $10 Walmart belt and we put it up and a friend's older brother was just watching or whatever, and then my friend went to climb to get the belt and he pushed it oh and the fool fell and broke his arm and that's pretty much when that was over for us, like we couldn't do it anymore.
Speaker 3:But I put a hole. We put me and my brother. We had a big room we shared. We put holes all in the walls from just throwing each other through. It was crazy.
Speaker 2:But yeah those are really good memories yeah, those are the best dude. Do you remember the last time you actually watched, like had a pay-per-view? Do you remember that?
Speaker 3:This was the early 90s.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like I think, maybe Roy Rumble, maybe I don't know. I can't remember, I think it was the 90s, for sure.
Speaker 2:I think the last one for me was during the Ruthless Aggression era. It was when. I think it was during the ruthless aggression era. It was when um, I think it was when brock les no, it wasn't brock lesnar, it was eddie guerrero does like a like a rope pulling match or something with jbl. I don't know it was. Uh, it was.
Speaker 3:It was a few years ago like I said, I stopped watching the early 2000s.
Speaker 2:Like now that.
Speaker 3:Peacock has it like everything you can find everything on it. I'm like if poor little kid me knew that one day all these pay-per-views would be for free on an app one day, I'd be so happy. I've been really watching them like seriously the last month just been yeah, I got my daughter into my little five year old. She's been watching with me and I was trying to teach her how to do like wrestling moves, like teach her the center and she doesn't care, she just likes to watch.
Speaker 3:But um, I have an older daughter too. She's 15 now. I used to do the same thing to her stone cold, stunner all the time, and she was like two years old one time and we went to go visit my grandma and my grandma has like a lazy boy you can just like, she just chill and watch tv and my daughter was sitting on her lap and out of nowhere she just stone cold, stuttered my grandma and my grandma's like what the hell was that?
Speaker 2:grandma through the table.
Speaker 3:Oh my god, not the baby you know, you said we like comedy, like the comics like wrestling.
Speaker 3:Like have you ever listened to the old uh commentators? Like they were like comedians? Yeah, jerry laura, I'm watching. I'm like the comics like wrestling. Like, have you ever listened to the old uh commentators? Like they were like comedians? Yeah, jerry laura, I'm watching him. Like the stuff he says like he cannot say today. There was like a mexican wrestler and he was like if I were him I'd get taco bone. Went straight for the border. Like just say stupid little puns like that. I'm like this guy's doing stand-up, like he's doing comedy for sure, yeah, and it's like all on the fly too.
Speaker 2:it it's all on the fly. I think I was thinking about this about, because I barely like getting back into wrestling now as an adult watching it. Of course it's not 100% fake, it's staged, for sure. But how much of the commentators did they know that was going on in the match? Did they know that they were going to do all these different moves? With that frame of thought, you have to be on your toes as a commentator regardless.
Speaker 3:Especially with their tables. It's like Legos as soon as they throw them on, they just fold. So you've got to be ready to just move. I'm pretty sure they got messed up a few times doing that, you know yeah, yeah it's, it's super crazy I watched, I re-watched, some of the old tapes and, like you can see, when, anytime, they use, like you know, the staircase they go up in yeah anytime they slam their heads on that completely missed, like they never hit that they're like, like, nowhere near it.
Speaker 3:Like, or they said that when they used the, the um, the chairs, like that was real, like, yeah those are real, like that, like yeah they're like some of these assholes would hit you hard, like like owen hard he was. He used to get um like shit for always, like hurting people and he didn't care.
Speaker 2:But sad thing that happened to him, but you know I found out that I didn't find out, but do you? Dan Soder is a huge wrestling fan. I had no clue.
Speaker 3:So is um, um, a lot of them like uh, kill Tony, likes um. Oh yeah, that for sure Anytime anytime Joe Rogan has um wrestling guests, he's always there Like yeah. Like when he had Ric Flair on his show. It was so awkward, Like Ric Flair was drunk and he didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 2:On Kill Tony. Yeah, dude, oh, my God.
Speaker 3:The whole time I could tell he's like I don't like you can tell he wasn't there, he was gone.
Speaker 2:He was on drugs or drunk or something. He was fucked up, dude.
Speaker 3:He's, like in his eighties, still getting lit. That's the goat, dude. That's the goat when he finally got up and walked away.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh, that was so awkward man. Like they said uh, you don't want to meet your heroes, right? But yeah, it was weird and they kept on doing jokes after he left, like mark norman was just fucking on it the whole time, dude kept ripping on him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's like. Yeah, I'm not gonna be somewhere where they make fun of people. He's like did you not watch the show?
Speaker 2:they're like he. I'm not gonna make fun of people giving their time.
Speaker 3:They're they're giving their time you know kill. Tony's gonna be out here. Are you gonna go, or what?
Speaker 2:when is it dude? Tell me, may, may, what I don't know.
Speaker 3:Supposedly you can just go sign up and get him for free.
Speaker 2:I don't know so do you know what venue they're gonna be at?
Speaker 3:I think the forum, the forum I gotta I gotta check again.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Do you know what venue they're going to be at? I think the Forum, the Forum.
Speaker 3:I got to check again. I don't know Where's the Forum. Can we see?
Speaker 2:Can you look at my?
Speaker 3:It's LA.
Speaker 2:I'm signing up, can I go?
Speaker 3:Kill Tony LA. I don't know the rules. I was talking to Owen about this One of his friends, Owen Parker dude.
Speaker 3:You want to know how I met Owen. Like a year before I started comedy, I went to a Big Jay Orkison show and I went by myself. So they just sat me up front like a loser and then they sat me next to another loser who happened to be Owen Parker, and the whole time, like you know, big Jay does crowd work, making fun of people. He's like I'm not going to make fun of you, you dress like me, I like your style. I had like a hoodie and jeans on.
Speaker 3:He's like well, this guy right here and started going in on him and I was just like scooting away on owen yeah, he was going hard on him and some other couple right there, but then may 10th there it is yeah, supposedly he said his friend was on the on the picture I don't know who is that it's a great value. Kill Tony.
Speaker 1:May 10th, and then he's going to be in a festival.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Netflix is a joke festival. Kill Tony, but.
Speaker 3:Owen's friend was at the New Year's show and he said that all you have to do is go there and sign up and supposedly you get them for free. So I try to look up rules or whatever, but I don't know. Who knows, I mean this is tickets. Yeah, but you shouldn't have to. I don't know, we'll see if not. I'm driving out there for no reason if you sign up right yeah, if you sign up, supposedly you get him for free I don't know, I I can't see that happening.
Speaker 2:No, I feel like he's gonna make money off. Yeah, because when you watch the show, uh, they say, oh, we have 200 something comics that just signed up. They're waiting at the bar down the street or some shit like that well, the arena show was different, like because they're in the arena already oh, that's true I don't know. This is what his friend no that's true, because when they normally do the show, it's at, uh, the comedy mothership. Oh well, that. Well, that changes everything because it's a different venue, right?
Speaker 3:hmm, amber, it looks like you're signing up like, if you watch the New Year's special, there's a girl who goes on first with no material at all, and I think she was one of those people like, hmm, maybe I can just get in for free. And they called her and she's like oh crap, what do I do? She literally had no material.
Speaker 2:You could do one minute of material. Amber, I believe in you. I'm trying to get Amber to do stand-up. I don't want to. It's easy.
Speaker 3:It's easy It'll take you like a year to get over stage fright, but it's easy.
Speaker 1:No, but it's just. It's not what I want to do.
Speaker 2:You were killing it at the Poetry Night. Remember the storytelling? Yeah, you were being funny without even trying to be funny.
Speaker 1:I feel like once I she's a natural Once I try to be funny. I feel like once she's a natural once I try to be funny, to be funny, I'm not gonna be funny no, that makes sense. Yeah, maybe not, don't try it I'm like, hey, my friend is funny, funny not, hey, entertain a crowd funny.
Speaker 2:So I am I the friend? Am I the friend that says, oh, my friend's funny, but she's not funny? Maybe I think that's why I want you to try it, because I want to see if you're funny or if it's just me trying to get into your pants and then what happens if I'm funny?
Speaker 3:just gonna be funnier than him, yeah that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:what, what if, I like, I'm funnier than you? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. What if I'm funnier than you?
Speaker 2:You'll kill it. I'll produce you. You'll be happy. I'd be happy I would get you on podcasts. I'd be your manager.
Speaker 1:See, but I don't want to do that, I just want to bake bread in my kitchen and listen to audiobooks. I don't want to be in the limelight. Why do you think I'm back? Here, and it's just my voice yeah, I guess all right that doesn't bring me joy kill tony it bring me joy to see you kill tony, may 10th in inglewood.
Speaker 3:I'm down, dude, let's go I said I want to get more information because I don't want to drive out there for no reason. It's like far it takes, you like three freeways to get there, but owens says that, so I trust him.
Speaker 2:You know, let's get a van, let's get a comedy van dude and just get a whole bunch of comics from the inland empire and just take a road trip out there, I'm going alone because if I take, if I go with you guys, you're going up and I wasted my time. Fuck that, every man for himself I'm just trying to save gas and get it right out there.
Speaker 3:I think that's what I'm trying to do like I remember I went to um the comedy store to do an open mic there and this random dude just walking by.
Speaker 3:He's like what's what's going on here? I was like, oh, they're doing open mic. He's like, oh, I'm from canada and I'm just here visiting. I'm gonna go watch a show. And I was like oh cool. And he's like oh, I can sign up. I was like, yeah, you can. And then he goes and signs up and he goes on and I didn't even get called. I was like fuck that. He was funny, though he was good, he was great.
Speaker 1:This, I think this is what it is. I think this is something else. The Kill, tony Inglewood Because this one makes sense that it's not at the Forum. It's at the YouTube Theater, which is a smaller venue next to the Forum.
Speaker 2:Oh, so it's YouTube Theater then.
Speaker 1:It's at the YouTube Theater.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:But then it throws me here. I don't know. Keep talking, I'll investigate for you.
Speaker 2:Then it's probably at the YouTube Theater. Then yeah, because it's a smaller place. They keep announcing it on the show, so no, the YouTube Theater is May 12th, so they're having two shows oh, that's shows May 10th and May 12th.
Speaker 1:So the May 12th one is the Netflix comedy show.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So they're expecting more people to come out for Kill Tony show, because if they're doing that at the Forum, the Forum is like 10 times bigger than the little YouTube theater.
Speaker 2:And they're going to do the comedy show at the YouTube theater. Well, it looks like, uh, we're spending the night in la for that weekend because I want to sign up. Dude, have you practiced your minute, don't what?
Speaker 1:don't buy parking in that yeah, I did.
Speaker 3:It was like 60 dollars. I went to go see, I went to go see ghost there with my daughter. The band ghost um I don't know. Anyways, yeah, it was like $60 a park there. I was like God damn, you paid $85.
Speaker 1:$85?.
Speaker 3:Yeah, when.
Speaker 1:I went with my mom and my aunts to the concert. It was right there at the YouTube theater and it was $85.
Speaker 2:No, I'm taking the train.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it all depends on who the artist is, because they just up the price.
Speaker 2:I went to see.
Speaker 3:Adam Sandler at the Honda Center. It was $80.
Speaker 2:Jeez, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 3:Hey, Adam Sandler has a hilarious life. You see his movies. It's kid-friendly. His comedy is not kid-friendly. That's why they don't want you filming. He did 20 minutes talking about his junk. There was one day he was talking about how he's like, oh oh, I found my wife's toy in the guest bedroom and my mom was over that weekend oh my god, oh god, hell yeah, dude no, but stuff like that.
Speaker 3:I was just like what? Like adam stanley's comedies, like this I've never really seen in stand-up before. Yeah, you ever watch his specials wherever it's like music or whatever. Like he did some music, but mostly comedy, and he was great. Rob schneider was there, judd Apatow Can't remember who else was there, but it was great though.
Speaker 2:Judd Apatow does stand-up. Yeah, does he really? He has specials. Yeah, really.
Speaker 3:He's not that funny, but I don't know. He's funny, but he's not my type, you know.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 3:I'm into the raunchy comedians.
Speaker 2:Yeah, george, I didn't. I didn't really see, uh, george carlin as being dirty. I felt like he was more like a cerebral wordsmith type of. Yeah, I'm just I'm saying he pushed the boundaries.
Speaker 3:You know he'd say crazy stuff, right. I seen um stuff from his thing from like in the 70s, saying like outlandish stuff and I'm like, wow, like, but I forget yeah you could talk like that. Then, like one of my first shows I ever booked, there was an old couple right in front and my comedy's dirty right. I was like, oh man, I'm like what if they get like offended? And they were laughing their asses off like 70 or 80.
Speaker 3:I was like, oh yeah, this is before the wokesters. You know they were okay with this, you know. So yeah, it was cool yeah, hell, yeah, dude.
Speaker 2:Do you remember? Um well, what I remember from like his old bits, george carlin, when he does like uh, the time thing where he's like what time is it? Like that, that was like part of his bit. He had long ass hair. He looked like a hippie dude. He was like what time is it? What time is it? People are already asking me what time it is, you know, uh, and he's like what is time? Like we don't know, it could be 30 years from now or some shit like that. That was like super fucking like. Oh shit, this fool's like on acid writing jokes, dude oh yeah, like, um, like eddie murphy too.
Speaker 3:He was one of my favorites growing up, like when I was a kid everyone watching eddie murphy, richard prior, like they were saying like crazy stuff, like I'm saying it, it was the 70s, but you think about it now, like they were saying this but now it's just like, okay, it was acceptable back then, you know, but those guys were great. Raw was my favorite, delirious was okay. But yeah, george Carlin, he was great, like I used to like when he used to go on those rants, just rant about crazy stuff. I'm just sitting there watching like, wow, he's so smart, why can't I think of that?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Could you imagine if he was alive today, if he had a podcast?
Speaker 2:Richard Pryor.
Speaker 3:No, george Carlin, sorry oh.
Speaker 2:George Carlin. Oh my God, If he had his own podcast.
Speaker 3:I don't know, was podcasting still? Was it around when he was still alive?
Speaker 2:No, it didn't get really like they.
Speaker 3:There was radio shows. There was radio shows, but not really. Um no, I think he'd be like in the top five for sure, just I would listen to him talk forever.
Speaker 2:You know, carlin, hell, yeah, yeah, fuck yeah, dude like I recently got into tim dillon.
Speaker 3:I love what like when he talks about politics and it's just funny because the like he's fat he's always making fun of fat people like I do the same thing. But yeah, I just I mean he's great, I love him. I went and saw him in braille. It was hilarious. My mouth was like like cheese, grinning like the whole time because it was so funny man what?
Speaker 2:what do you think about the, the, the woke part of how, uh, comedy and like pushing boundaries now, like, what's your thoughts on that?
Speaker 3:like I don't know. This is a and political correctness in comedy well, I think people woke for a while but it's dying out like now. Like you know, um joe rogan's, like whatever his, um, his, his, uh club.
Speaker 3:He has right like they, let you say whatever you want, like some places don't want you to clean comedy only, like I couldn do it, like I don't have any clean jokes, like like this is an art form, it's freedom of speech, you can be able to say whatever you want. You know, like obviously there's certain subjects you shouldn't talk about, but other than that, like um, I don't know that the woke, the woke bullshit, like like LA when I went to the la one, like you could tell, like it was like real strict on, like they don't want any crowd work. They say, if you do any crowd work you'll get kicked out.
Speaker 3:Really, yeah I'm like yeah, because I usually see all these clips on on online is comedians doing crowd work? Yeah when I went to the comedy store they said you do any crowd work, you'll be, you'll be cut off and you'll get kicked out. So I was just like, okay, um, I don't know, la is different, like we IE comedy. That's all I know out here. But shout out to the buddy system. Shout out to Chatterbox. You ever been to Chatterbox yet?
Speaker 2:I haven't Not yet dude.
Speaker 3:That place is so sick. It's just too many people signing up.
Speaker 2:I fucking haven't gone yet. Everybody talks about it, everybody gives positive reviews, but I, I haven't been in a while I need to go again. But Is it a lottery system or is it listed?
Speaker 3:It's. It's two lists One's for the women and the non-binaries, and then Just the regular people.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 3:No, it's a great place. I like that place. It's real. Everyone's cool there.
Speaker 2:I've always got positive vibes so the funny list and the unfunny list got it no, the girls are funny, the girls are great I like the girls are great they're.
Speaker 3:They kill it. They show up an hour late and they get to go up.
Speaker 2:It's pretty cool, I guess that just happens, right, I see my thing with uh we gotta deal with you, bozos the woke comedy give us some time that's why I want you to do it, because comedy needs more women.
Speaker 1:Exactly what, so you guys can talk shit.
Speaker 2:No one's talking shit.
Speaker 1:Nah, I'm good.
Speaker 2:I'm an advocate for women comedians.
Speaker 1:You just said the unfunny and you're an advocate, Okay.
Speaker 2:I pick and choose my battles, okay, I?
Speaker 3:know Well the girls there are killer.
Speaker 2:They're all great there. No, of course they're great. I got to make my way out there. Dude Johnny Gold praises it. He talks about it all the time. Seven, all those guys from Amendment, that's where.
Speaker 3:I met Seven. I met him there randomly. He was doing a bit about like squirting. He's like something about, something about piss and squirt are different. I was like they taste the same. Anyways, yeah, he's pretty cool. I met him there. Um, I met owen too. Like I told you, I met owen at that um random show, the big j show and, uh, a year later I did the open mic for the first time and he was there. He's like I was like I remember you, you sat next to me. He's like oh yeah, hey, what's up?
Speaker 3:and then we just been friends ever since that's awesome he introduced me to darby and all that and the rest is history yeah, I gotta have you been to the the riverside.
Speaker 2:Stuff the back to the grind with uh that's what I said.
Speaker 3:Shout out to the buddy system. Okay, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's right dude who runs? That Is it Sandy? Does Sandy run it?
Speaker 3:or no Some other guys, but he just guest hosts sometimes.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, gotcha.
Speaker 3:It's three other guys, but they're cool. When I first started doing stand-up, I did the Ontario Improv was the first one. That was the club one that I did, and then people told me about the buddy system and I went over there.
Speaker 3:They have like they have um worthingtons back to the grind and then they do a like a. On tuesdays they do a like where you pull like random, like it's like bottom of the barrel, whatever you call it like you just pull out random um. People write down random premises and you're supposed to pull it out and just make something up it's oh, that's cool, it's horrible no, it's horrible.
Speaker 3:I did it one time. I had the worst pics ever. Like you're supposed to be able to make something up off it and I I bombed big time really yeah so I went once. It's like they do it tuesday nights but I work in the morning and I just I went one time and I'm like I embarrassed myself and I'm not going back ah, come on, I'll go back again but when I I have time yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they always have that scene out in Riverside. They always have stuff where when I have podcasts like Tuesday nights podcasts, thursday nights podcasts so I'm not able to go out there.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the Worthingtons was cool, but they were doing some construction, so they went to the back of the grind and it's like downstairs in a basement. It's like real New York vibes. It's badass. I went one time since they've reopened. But I work, I have kids, so it's kind of hard.
Speaker 2:Chatter boxes Thursday nights.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're all like I said, you just got to make time. You know Podcast yeah.
Speaker 2:I can't, I have to. I kind of want to just not do podcasts for like a month and then just hit all the mics that I want to do.
Speaker 3:Do it, do them early and then go to the shows at night, like the Riverside ones. They're late, they're like at nine o'clock at night, or seven or nine or something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the early stuff, well, not too many, and that's the thing. Not too many people can do early, early shows too. Well, they're going to try doing this thing where they do the back to the grind early, the worthingtons later oh really that's gonna be the I don't know, I haven't been back, but that was the plan, so yeah, I'm trying to get sandy to come and do the podcast yeah, he's one of my day ones.
Speaker 3:When I first went out there like I met him and he's always been cool with me, like we've done the shows together. He's funny. Like he's always telling himself oh, I bombed, I bombed. I'm like did you hear yourself? He did great. Like I always think he kills it. But he's always doubting himself. But I do the same thing, you know.
Speaker 2:I always tell myself, oh, you messed that up, you did that and like whatever you know, yeah, like when you, when you did the, you you came out and did the the dalek comedy thing in paramount and that was like one of the first things you told me.
Speaker 3:You're like oh, I messed up the beginning, or something like that yeah, I always um, I always stumble over my words, I always think, think.
Speaker 2:I mess up.
Speaker 3:Like I said, we're all critics, you know so.
Speaker 2:That's true.
Speaker 3:I don't know Like it's, because some of my bits are longer and then for open mics it was shorter time. I cut them down. So, I stumble over my words sometimes, where I forget what I'm supposed to cut out, and I don't know.
Speaker 2:Gotcha.
Speaker 3:I'm over my materials, I'm ready to write new stuff, like, now that I've got it down, I'm over it, like I want to write new stuff. But it's hard, man, like I can't just sit down and write. They just pop up in my head and I'll just write it down on my phone and then you know like change it later, whatever yeah all my jokes have been rewritten. They're not all the same. So I've I've changed punch lines and take them out and put it back, and I'm like that's how I've stumbled over my words.
Speaker 2:I'm like wait, yeah, what version of this joke am I doing today?
Speaker 3:the first time I ever did open mic was at, uh, the ontario improv, and I wasn't. I didn't know what was going, I didn't know how much time we got, how much, whatever you know. So I go up there, just completely went blank, like I froze, like I didn't know what to do. The lights everyone's staring at me. I was like, oh fuck, the first minute I was just frozen and then crowds cheering me on, like you got this.
Speaker 2:And I was just. It just made it worse.
Speaker 3:Finally I was just like all right, skip that. Whatever joke that I started with, I couldn't finish. And then I I did the last like minute and a half and I did fine, you know. And that's when everybody came up to me after, like you did great, blah, blah and did good, like everyone was cool, you know. Yeah, another time there I bombed because I drank too much, I was like one of the last ones to go up and I was like spaced out on space does and I missed the punch line, like I said the joke, and then the crowd laughed. I got a big pop like I don't ever got a big pop like that where it throws you off, and I just oh yeah I was like, wait a minute, what was I talking about?
Speaker 3:I was like, but I was also kind of drunk but yeah, that's what's crazy Some places you can tell a joke and crickets, and other places you get a big pop and you have to wait, wait, wait, okay, wait. That was my problem is that I used to talk too fast. I talk fast right now. Talk fast and I would talk through laughter and you have to learn timing. Like you say the joke, let the laugh blah, blah, blah. You know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm still learning. I've only been doing this a year now. I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Finding the sweet spot, Because, at least for me, I like to drag the laughter way too long to where they're laughing. Laughing ha ha ha, and then the pause right there. Sometimes I drag on that pause too long at least this is what amber tells me. I'm just now learning that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm so used to open mics. They're like so short that you have to speed through your material. My problem is I used to try to give out too many jokes in so little time yeah but now I've timed it out where, like, you, got to give time for laughter, you know.
Speaker 2:So if you get a laugh, the laughter and then the pause and then jump into the next thing. Right, it's just timing you finding your rhythm, dude. Uh, the last show I did, oh my god, I found my rhythm at the beginning and it was great.
Speaker 3:I loved it like I did the show with you guys in the following week. I did the ontario improv right and the crowd was crazy that night like the pops were so big and like I had to wait, wait, wait, wait and then go like so I got it down that time.
Speaker 2:But isn't that the best dude when, when you leave off your your like you'll tell a joke that is fresh and you're like, fuck yeah, like that worked. Hell yeah, keep. I want to keep that energy going that's my problem.
Speaker 3:Like the jokes I have now, I feel like they work. So I want to keep that energy going. That's my problem the jokes I have now I feel like they work. So I want to do new stuff, but I'm afraid, like no, I just want to tell these jokes because they work. I'm here to make you laugh.
Speaker 2:That's the game, dude.
Speaker 3:My friend was telling me, you can't always make them laugh. Not everything's going to make them laugh. I've thrown away so many jokes but I want to take them back and rewrite them, you know, because, like I said, I'm over my material. Now I want to write new stuff, but it's hard, like I can't just sit down and write.
Speaker 2:Remember when Seas and Sandy were giving you shit for not going up that night.
Speaker 3:I was just taking a break that night Like I was doing the Claremont Mikes every week and I got tired of doing the same material in front of the same people, right? So yeah, but whatever, they're cool. That's giving me advice you know?
Speaker 2:no, it was funny to me because I was doing the same thing, dude, and they were just giving you shit for it well, they've been doing it a long time and I've done a lot of shows with them and they're.
Speaker 3:They're both funny and I guess they're just trying to motivate me, I guess yeah but I talked to seas about it like I want. My goal this year is I want to ride like a new half hour nice crazy, crazy goal, but like right in first year I did like 15 or 20 minutes. You know that's pretty good. Some people say they only did like five minutes, 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:The first year.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the first year I did it, but I don't think everything was great. That's why the 10 minutes I run with is what I think is the best of, like the 15, 20 I have. You know, I have some seasonal jokes, like summertime jokes, but when summer comes around I'm bringing them back, you know hell yeah I have a bit in the summertime because I get real dark. I have a bit. I'm like I wonder what happened if I walked into a tanning salon like look at y'all confused. Are you lost her?
Speaker 2:yeah, I have. Uh, some of the jokes that I have are like towards like, when I started comedy it was september, november, you, it was a holiday, so most of the stuff that I write were around Halloween, day of the Dead, shit like that. I haven't even really thought about that why they're not working right now.
Speaker 3:Because a lot of jokes don't age well, you know like.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Most of the bits I have are real stories that I just sprinkle some bullshit on top you know, Like my arthritis one that's probably my best one. Everyone loves that one. It's a true story. I really do have arthritis. I can't do this. That hurts. This one's fine, but this one is just weird. It doesn't feel right. I can't move it. I have to get surgery one day, but right now I'm good.
Speaker 2:You don't need surgery.
Speaker 3:Well, you don't need surgery. Well, I will, they, the doctor told me, but I'm holding it off.
Speaker 2:Someone I know got it and he said just wait, wait for what? Because I guess wait for your arm to fall off.
Speaker 3:I guess it's not the same. After I don't know, he goes to the gym, I don't, so he's fine, like you're not gonna be able to work out oh that, yeah, that's true I don't know any type of surgeries like that. Never be the same, you know yeah like knee surgeries whatever. Like, my knees are pretty messed up too, but right now I'm cool yeah I can hold off that's what happens have you had surgery before?
Speaker 2:no, I've gotten stitches like close to my face. You see the scar here.
Speaker 3:I got 32 stitches 16 on the outside, 16 on the inside I have a scar in the back of my head from when I was little. I hit my head it's somewhere in the car and I get stitches and then I had neck surgery like about a couple years ago.
Speaker 2:Jesus, you are Stone Cold, steve Austin.
Speaker 3:Hey, can I tell you this story? It was so embarrassing, like if you ever go to get surgery, right, they take you into a room and they prep you right's like, yeah, take off your boxers too. And I was like why? I was like I'm having neck surgery, why? Why would I take my boxers off? And so I was just like no, like I'm leaving my boxers on right, so I'm just laying in the little thing, and they wheel you into the operating room.
Speaker 3:I don't know why they do this, but they give you anesthesia and they they start talking to you and they tell you we're going to give you anesthesia, put you out and then we're going to transfer you to this table. It's two little Filipino nurses are going to transfer me to the next table, jesus Christ I was like good luck.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're too big. We can't lift this guy. He's too big.
Speaker 3:I'm like can I just get up and get in there and then you guys put me out right, like wouldn't that make sense. So I kept my boxers on right yeah, and the lady was putting. I guess they don't want you to piss yourself or whatever. I'm like I'm having neck surgery, why do I need to? Take my boxers off and it's cold in here, you know. So I'm in the, she's giving me the anesthesia, it's like I'm starting to fade out and she's like, wait, why does he still have his boxers on?
Speaker 3:and I was falling like yeah, to the darkness, and then that's the last thing you hear, listen I was like I heard her say why does he still have his boxers on? And I could feel her taking them off of me. And then I heard her go oh, that's why. And then they started laughing. Oh, I was still like you're still conscious. It takes like I don't know, like 30 seconds or a minute before you actually go out, and I just heard them laughing and like there was only two of them, and I remember like a crowd of people laughing Like muah ha ha ha.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God dude.
Speaker 3:So when I woke up, the first thing it was another nurse that woke me up in the next room. I woke up and first thing I said was where are my boxers? That's what you were worried about the whole time, because when you go out of surgery, it's like that, like it's like you wake up in your like, yeah, it's hours later.
Speaker 1:You took a nap like you took like a cat nap yeah, I woke up.
Speaker 3:It felt great, but I was pissed off. I was like where are my boxers? Oh my god. I've heard things about nurses. They say, where they they joke about um dude's penis sizes, that we don't make fun of the small ones, we talk about the big ones. I was like I saw a meme. It's like this dude sitting in the hospital. He's like when you've been in the hospital for two weeks and all the nurses saw your hospital penis, like your small hospital penis.
Speaker 1:That's how I felt they, they you can't have, because I've had surgery. I've had 13 surgeries, so I'm she knows what I'm talking about.
Speaker 3:I'm seasoned.
Speaker 1:But you can't have any clothing on because one, like machinery, can get caught. Like, let's say, they left your boxers on and then they use like a saw or something and then the like, the you know where, whatever's attached to it gets attached to your boxers and then it yanks something. Or just you know they need you to be like bare, where nothing is gonna get caught and there's gonna be no error.
Speaker 3:So yeah, the dude was a male nurse and he was kind, of you know I thought he was a male nurse. I thought he was trying to pull a fast one on me.
Speaker 1:I was like no no, and then and then they, they scrub you. So you know that soap, that like the antiseptic soap, that orange one. Have you ever seen that?
Speaker 3:is it iodine?
Speaker 1:it's like the yeah, it's like a iodine-ish soap.
Speaker 3:They literally like wash your entire body yeah, they use it on me when I got my vasectomy yeah, so so they so they'll, like, wash you completely like, because they need all the germs to get rid from your body.
Speaker 1:So not only did they see your peepee, they probably touched it and they threw you around. Yeah, I mean that's.
Speaker 2:That's the name you're me too, dude hey, um, but uh, seriously that. I just remember that day I pissed off, I was like I can't believe it the whole time, dude, to hear that, to hear laughter about you and your boxers, like that had to be like so upset, but you don't think you were like hallucinating at that point.
Speaker 3:No, they laughed because I wasn't out yet.
Speaker 1:They laughed Because I remember the process of going out and you're just like whoa and people would sound like that, like hey, oh, they went, whoa ho ho. Yeah, whoa, yeah, yeah. The lady would be like, oh, so how was your day? And I was like, what the hell are you asking me about my day? And then she'd be like, all right, count to 50.
Speaker 3:well, and then she'd go she said oh, that's why that was the last thing I heard. How was your days? Why is he wearing boxers?
Speaker 2:oh, that's why dang dude, you're killing it bro she got me man.
Speaker 3:Hey, but uh, I'm done going to the hospital, no more surgeries, I'm staying away hell yeah, dude, unless you want to go and reverse your vasectomy I'm done having you know it's reversible.
Speaker 2:Dude isn't that wild, it's reversible.
Speaker 3:I'm good.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's not 100% either, so you can get it done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know somebody that got it done and then got their wife pregnant. Oh, they had a third nut. So I think it's like you have to get it snipped and then they have to get it tied, tied, or we have to get it tied and then you have to get it snipped, like for it to be like bulletproof my friend, and I say this, my friend, he, he, so he had.
Speaker 2:He was obviously having unprotected sex with his girlfriend at the time and she got pregnant and he, he was freaking out because he thought that his girlfriend was cheating on him. And I remember like he was crying and this, and he's like I gotta go to mexico, I gotta see, I gotta see if, uh, if, like it's, if it's something with me or her, and he went to mexico. They checked him out and said, uh, it was like a fa, and said it was like a faulty operation, like his vasectomy was like faulty.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they give you like a little cup. You're supposed to take it back to test to see if, like it was successful or not, and I still haven't done it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, knowing him, I'm pretty sure that he didn't send that sample in or something. So this guy was out there freaking, shooting little Alfonzos everywhere. It was his name. No one knows who he is well, I didn't know that story. And now, I know it, he shoot like he was shooting him out. And then I was just like whoa, dude, that's, that can happen.
Speaker 3:That's fucking crazy yeah, I'm done having kids. I got a 15 year old and a five year old, two girls, and my chances are I'll probably have another girl. I'm good, I always wanted a boy, but whatever, yeah, boys are whack get one from the pound.
Speaker 2:Dude, you dogs, so that's fine.
Speaker 3:Are you dogs? They're girls. I'm in a house full of girls. There's so much estrogen.
Speaker 2:Even the dogs too. Yes, oh, my God dude.
Speaker 3:There's so much estrogen in the house I'm ready to start sitting down when I pee this is rubbing off on me.
Speaker 1:I can't help it. Do you put the?
Speaker 3:seat down for them pee.
Speaker 1:I just told you no, so you don't have to put it up, got it imagine how much time men will save if we sat down and peed.
Speaker 3:Think about that and how clean the restroom would be well, it'd be a lot of ass hairs on the toilet seat that's true.
Speaker 2:You ever think about that. I think somebody has a bit about pubes on, like at urinals.
Speaker 3:I forget who it is nick swartzen does he he talks about you ever go in the urinal? You see the longest hairs? He's like is there like a pube fairy in here? Yeah, have you ever pulled a pube off. He's like ah, I seen him live. He's probably the best comedian I've ever seen live. I saw my braille.
Speaker 2:He's so fucking funny like have you seen that video of him, I think, performing? Can you pull it up?
Speaker 3:remember, amber, we're watching it yeah, he was drunk and I didn't watch it and he got booed off stage or some shit like that.
Speaker 2:Jay sent it to me he relapsed.
Speaker 3:He's been sober. When I the when I saw him, he was sober, he was funny, and then that was a couple years ago, and then he relapsed and he, he could, he, uh, he went on and made a, made a statement that he, you know he messed up, he got too high and too drunk, but is it that one right there?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's on the screen. That's a rally time. Here we go. You can rally. All right, here we go.
Speaker 1:I'll rally this. Watch this show.
Speaker 2:Here we go. He just keeps on saying it.
Speaker 3:Huh I swear to God, it'll be fucking amazing.
Speaker 2:I love you, the fucking Rick, let's go here, we go, go here, we go, here we go. He's like, all right, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 3:I think he said he had an edible before was it j.
Speaker 2:what do you say? Jason statham at the as a beekeeper? All right, all right, all. Here we go, here we go.
Speaker 3:Jason Statham, that's that new movie. As a Christmas girl, he is the caroler Jason.
Speaker 2:Statham as the caroler. Here we go. Jason Statham as the caroler. Yes, here we go. Jason Statham has the car. Yes, here we go, and here we go, dang.
Speaker 1:People started talking already.
Speaker 3:Huh His brain's on repeat right now. He doesn't know what's going? On. That's what my first open mic looked like. I just kept repeating myself, I didn't know what I was saying, and then I just oh.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is where he's losing him. He's losing him.
Speaker 3:Supposedly like he relapsed when Norm Macdonald died. I guess they're really close.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 3:And that's when he relapses. He talks about him.
Speaker 2:What if? I finish this oh, that's fucked up. There's nothing worse than being on stage and somebody shouting from the crowd.
Speaker 3:You're not funny no, I'm telling you, I see him sober. Has that happened to you? No, no I've never had any negative me neither. Never to my face people. I talk crap behind my back, but never to my face. I'm pretty sure people like this guy's been doing the same as you over a year now. He needs to get rid of it.
Speaker 2:You know that happened to me three weeks ago when we first did the open mic at the shop not the live podcast, but the weekly podcast, the weekly open mic we do on wednesdays. So that happened to me. I was on stage and nothing was hitting and somebody like this fucker from the crowd he was just like I was- like oh okay, you guys aren't. Okay, you guys didn't listen to that one, right, and he was like I was like what's going on with the other comics?
Speaker 3:and the guy goes because they were funny and I was just like, ah, all right, motherfucker well, I've done shows where it's like two people in the crowd and the rest is like the show that you guys came to in um orange county yeah it was like one couple and the rest was all you know comics the comics don't pay attention, so you perform to them. You know, but I've done shows like that.
Speaker 2:I paid attention, me and Jay paid attention.
Speaker 3:What I'm saying is that I've done shows like that, like bars where no one's paying attention. They're playing pool or watching the game Like they leave the TVs on. Oh, this yeah, yeah that's what I like about chatterbox, because it's also like it's just. Like you know, it's a bar, they have pool tables and jukeboxes, but they shut it down for comedy, like most places. Like you're doing stand-up with the people playing pool in the background, not caring, and yeah watching sports or whatever.
Speaker 2:But you know what it is? I think it's because steve hernandez right, he, he runs. Is he like part owner or something?
Speaker 3:like that I have no idea.
Speaker 2:So he actually managed I'm assuming he managed that component of it and when you manage that and you are a comedian also, you know how it is.
Speaker 3:So I'm pretty sure like he uses that to shut everything down, to give the time they shut it down, but they have to cap it at a certain time because the locals want to play pool, whatever. So that's why there used to be like a lot of sign-ups. Now, I think, they cap it at 30. So once they hit 30, like that's it, so you can't run past the time.
Speaker 2:And that's at the open mic. Yeah, or their shows. How long is their open mic? Like two hours?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it ends at like 11. I don't know, I don't remember. I usually leave around that time because I usually work the next day, so I gotta go to sleep, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm pretty sure it's 11. They cut it down. They changed it when I first started going there, like it would just go endless, you know, and then I think they capped it at 30 pools and 11 o'clock. Jeez.
Speaker 2:Well, that's good dude to get 30 pools on that.
Speaker 3:There's like 75 signups. So no, you go there and you might not get called 75, really. A few times I've gone there. There's a lot of signups, so luckily I got called, usually at the end when people are already gone already anyways.
Speaker 2:Is there real people there or is it all comics?
Speaker 3:There's certain people that come there like every week. It's like a certain little crowd of people that are old. They're like regulars there, so yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh, and they come to see the show.
Speaker 3:But either way, it's just so many people, there's so many signups that it's like a real crowd, you know people actually pay attention there, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I like the place. I need to hit it up. I think he's a bartender. I've met him. He's pretty cool. There's some other people. I can't remember their names. It's been a while since I've been there. I haven't been there since like September so.
Speaker 2:I need to hit it back maybe when I do my hiatus from the podcast to go hit places that I want to actually go to, you know, I've heard from Megan. It's cool yeah, I want to check out the buddy system, the Back to the Grind, that's the one like downstairs, right it starts at seven.
Speaker 3:It's an early one because it's a coffee shop, so they don't stay open late.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So the plan is they said they want to do that and then go to the bar after because that stays open late. You know, I liked it. People complained that it was hot and stuffy in there. I'm fat and I was fine. People complained that it was hot and stuffy in there. I'm fat and I was fine. I don't know, I'm great, I feel good, but I actually kind of sat next to the stairs that I guess had the little airflow, I guess, right, but I was fine.
Speaker 2:Have you seen David Tell's new special?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I saw it. Is it out? Yeah, it just came out today. I watched it today. Oh, it came out today oh shit, I'm going to go see him on Friday, that's right. I saw him a month ago too, but same material, so it's basically the special.
Speaker 2:So when I see him this Friday. Hopefully it's new stuff.
Speaker 3:He pulls out his recorder and starts playing. It's pretty funny, it's random. I like him because he does a lot of self-deprecation. I do it too. Too, people tell you you shouldn't do that why?
Speaker 2:who says that you shouldn't do that?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 3:People just say I don't know, really, like if you manifest that you say all these bad things about yourself, it's gonna be true like no, it's not I don't know like, uh, all my bits are making fun of myself, like if you can't make fun of yourself, then what you know, right, it's like that's what I like about comedy is like you can go somewhere and talk about your insecurities and there's someone else there that might have the same issues and like you make light of it, you know, and then I don't know. I just like I like making fun of myself because they say talk about what you know. So, I know myself, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you begin to make light of something, it it takes the power away from that Right. It takes the power away from that right Because if you're fat, right, I talk about myself being fat, or my haircut, which fucking kills.
Speaker 3:I'm fat and bald.
Speaker 2:that kills Right exactly, dude, but when you start to talk about that, then there's less things for people to talk about you or to perceive you, because they're like, oh, like, oh, okay, he's talking about it already, so it's not a big deal that's why, um one of my bits, I talk about my weight loss.
Speaker 3:I talk about man. I like making fun of fat people too. That shit is fun yeah, it is fun like I grew up with, all my friends were little fat kids. We used to make fun of each other, roast each other. Like you know, nobody got offended or cried about it. It's just like you grew up joking about yourself. Who cares, you know?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I like self-deprecation.
Speaker 2:That's fun Roast battles. I got to go check out one of those.
Speaker 3:The second time I ever did stand-up was at a roast battle. They just asked me to come and I had no idea what it was and I had written jokes too many jokes. You can't bring notes or anything like that on stage and I didn't know him. Like I didn't remember any of them. The dude I went against was pretty funny. I just forgot I had good jokes in the first round. The second round just completely went blank and I'm like I could not remember and they're like you can't have your phones out and I was like god damn, like so he won, like I give it up for he's good. Though he moved to new. He moved to New York. He was a pretty funny comic. He's friends with Nick Johnson. He came to the Claremont I think you've met him and there's another dude named Seth. They were all three of them were pretty funny, but I don't know. I haven't talked to him in a while. But check out Nick Nick Johnson. He's funny. Check it out, shout. Check out nick nick johnson he's funny.
Speaker 2:Check it out.
Speaker 3:Shut up, nick I don't know seth that much, but nick's cool. Yeah, I'll check him out nick who johnson, nick johnson.
Speaker 2:He looks like he's high 24 7. Hell yeah, he's funny as fuck, though I like him. Hell yeah, yeah, I guess I gotta do that, dude, I gotta uh check that out. Um, amber wants to see a roast battle soon.
Speaker 3:I went to another one last minute.
Speaker 2:She wants to produce one. She wants to do a roast battle out there. Do it at your spot, yeah.
Speaker 3:I went to another one last minute, like someone backed out the night before they asked me, so I got a partner. We went and yet again I couldn't remember my jokes. I met up with a dude like an hour before the show and we had okay jokes, but those other dudes were, you know, they already had jokes written for the other people they're supposed to get in, so they beat us, but it was still fun though yeah.
Speaker 3:I'd go back again, but there's a lot of people sign up, so you gotta give other people chances to sign up, you know that's true.
Speaker 2:Where's this at?
Speaker 3:the Ontario Improv well that.
Speaker 2:That's why, because of the place right, so everybody goes there Do you do a lot of spots in LA?
Speaker 3:I've only done the Comedy Store once. That was it, and then I guess I've done a Fullerton one. That's Orange County, though Never mind.
Speaker 2:Was it Potluck at the Comedy Store?
Speaker 3:The open mic there. They have it like once a month, I think.
Speaker 2:Then what's Potluck? I thought Potluck was the open mic.
Speaker 3:The open mic is draw. Potluck is like you email them and they select you and you're guaranteed a spot.
Speaker 2:Oh really.
Speaker 3:It's hard, you know. You have to enter your email and apply, and I've never been picked for that.
Speaker 2:Danny Nixon told me about that, about Potluck. He was like danny nixon told me about that about potluck.
Speaker 3:He's like you should try it. Who else? Johnny gold told me that too. Owen just got selected for that. He was trying to find a ride. Yesterday I couldn't have my kids oh, that's fucked up really I don't know if he was able to go or not, but oh shit that's what sucks. You need a car yeah I like ony's funny though. Uh he, uh he hosted. He hosts the theimber, mike right.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I haven't gone in a while. Who's been hosting there? Like just random ones.
Speaker 2:Random. I think last week was seven.
Speaker 3:Have you seen him and Darby's little videos they make? They're so funny.
Speaker 2:They're hilarious dude.
Speaker 3:Darby is like our Jeff Wright. He's like beautiful, pretty comic of our scene. I look at him like that guy's beautiful no homo, just kidding the last, the last one he posted with owen.
Speaker 2:It was fucking gold. Can you pull it up, ember? They played like it's on feed. That funny on instagram by the baseball park by the baseball park dude. Oh my god, I fucking died it was awesome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, owen was meant for that part they both were it no, the baseball chain link yeah, pull it up.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're gonna have to like scroll and and like re redo it. Yeah, that one's also funny too wow, and I've been thinking.
Speaker 3:I feel like we're doing this multiple times a week. What are you talking about? He looks blind I forget how this benefits us. We to put dinner on the table somehow. I don't know, man, I just feel like it's time.
Speaker 1:I feel like it's time for me to move on, you know.
Speaker 3:Somebody's got to do it. Watching kids play Little League I don't know man Like. I just I feel like I need to Look at his glasses and my horizons and move on yourself. You're the best at this man. Nobody does it better than you. You mean that? Of course I mean it. Yeah, you've seen that movie, john wick. Right, you're just like john wick, if it was completely different. Now you see number 13 it was completely put him in the sack.
Speaker 3:All right, I was not expecting that ending. I was like what the fuck was that?
Speaker 2:No, exactly the turn on. It was freaking amazing. I was like where is this going to go? Where are they going to go with this? Oh my God, completely awesome dude.
Speaker 3:Hey Owen was meant for that part.
Speaker 2:They did such a good job on that the production is great too.
Speaker 3:I don't know what camera they're using, but it looked nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the camera, the audio, everything the writing in there was freaking amazing. Me and jay are trying to do some skits like that. The first skit that we did about that conversation is complete.
Speaker 2:It was from your, your conversation no comment jay's gonna hate me for this, but, dude, I told him I was like, I was like what the hell's your problem? Like, literally, when he told me that he was like, hey, um, I he told us the conversation and he was like, yeah, dude, was that weird. I'm like, yeah, dude, it was fucking weird I left him on red. I was like it was weird, did I tell you that, amber?
Speaker 3:yeah, he's cool, though I like him, he's cool I had.
Speaker 2:No, I was like dude, don't why. Where are you doing that to guys?
Speaker 3:don't do that to people he's cool, though I like him yeah, that was, um, it was super, it was super awkward.
Speaker 2:And he was like, hey, we should, we should do videos, right, and and we're like, uh, well, we don't have anything. We gotta write like stuff down, dude. And then I told him I was like, well, let's just. It was that day he told me about the conversation. I was like, let's just do it on the conversation and see where that takes us. At least it's something right and you started laughing during it like, yeah, I started like did I send you the video and why I was laughing so hard yeah I.
Speaker 2:I sent it right where he was just like, okay, action, you fat piece of shit. And then I was just like, oh you, I started laughing and then I set the lines and stuff. So, uh, it was good man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you good on time I'm good, you good okay ready to wrap this up.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 3:Amber's giving me the signals over here, you good hey, this is my first time ever doing a podcast, so I was nervous talking too fast dude, you did awesome.
Speaker 2:No, we gotta have you back again. Yeah, I'm comfortable now.
Speaker 3:You're? Yeah, I'm comfortable now.
Speaker 2:You're good now.
Speaker 3:I'm comfortable now.
Speaker 2:I think that's why we do like three hour podcasts sometimes too, because, like, the first hour is kind of I got used to the sound.
Speaker 3:Like hearing my voice is kind of weird, but yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, come back again, dude you down.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm down to do sketches with you, yeah.
Speaker 2:You're down Hell. Yeah, dude, let's talk about it. Andy Calderon, tell us where we can find you and what you got coming up, brother.
Speaker 3:Add me on Instagram andyc underscore comedy. I have nothing coming up, so you got any shows to book. Book me. I just got to smoke the mics. Make some more connections. See you guys soon.
Speaker 2:Hell, yeah, that's what we got. What do we have, ember, tomorrow? If you're listening to this today, on tuesday, tomorrow we have our poodle laughs open mic I will be hosting in the city of paramount hit up the link at gilbilly dalek on instagram. And friday we have dalek Comedy in the city of Paramount at the same spot at Orchateria, completely free. We have comics, we have a live band. It's super awesome. Andy has done the show. He loves it, he thinks it's great. He thinks it's probably one of the best shows that we have in Southeast LA in the city of Paramount Dalek Comedy. Come check it out, it's totally free. Amber, do you have anything?
Speaker 1:Oh, no, I'm good, Peace Uh she's such a wordsmith.
Speaker 2:This is why I fell in love with her. Ladies and gentlemen, she knows her way around the microphone and with words. I'm just trying to fill it in some time for the song to end. May 4th we have a lot of things coming up. Well, let me talk about my dates. May 4th, we will be out there at Michilala Rumble hosting a live podcast for the MindBuzz, for MindBuzz Media, for my Grito Podcast Network. May 4th, michilada Rumble. We will also be guest judges for the Michiladas. What else do I got April 27th? Is it April 27th? Hold on, let me see. I got a show in Santa Anita too. Oh yeah, april 27th. Hold on, let me see, I got a show in Santa Anita too. Oh yeah, april 27th I will be doing laughs and low riders, santa Anita racetrack. It's going to be awesome. Come check it out. Peace the mind, the mind. Yep. Like I said,