The Mindbuzz
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The Mindbuzz
MB:284 with Kelly Farmer
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Kelly Farmer is a stand up comedian. Check out her stuff here https://www.instagram.com/smelly_farter/?hl=en
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"King without a Throne" is performed by Bad Hombres
Let's go.
SPEAKER_14What is up, Mind Buzz Universe? Welcome back to another podcast episode of The Mind Buzz. I am your host, Gil, and working the board this evening, this morning, this afternoon, whenever you're listening to this podcast, is the lovely Amber. What is up?
SPEAKER_02Hi. I'm good. What?
SPEAKER_14What the heck is up? What is going on?
SPEAKER_02Nothing. What is happening in the world? Surviving the summer.
SPEAKER_14It is hot. It's hot. It is sunny out here in sunny California. Yeah, sunny Southern California. Is Northern California hot too?
SPEAKER_02I don't think it's as hot as we are right now.
SPEAKER_14No? The block is hot.
SPEAKER_02Just it's all hot.
SPEAKER_14But I I summer is here, ladies and gentlemen. Summer is here.
SPEAKER_02I always say I can't wait for summer.
SPEAKER_14Spring who?
SPEAKER_02Spring who. Spring is my favorite, but no. I always change it up. Be quiet. I'm trying to get a word in. God damn it. I'm done. I'm done for the I'm done. I'm shutting it off.
SPEAKER_14Shutting what off?
SPEAKER_02I was just gonna say that I always say that I want summer to be here and now that it's hot.
SPEAKER_14I told you that the other day. I know. Um when it's cold, when it's like a little bit moist outside. Oh my god, I can't wait for summer. I can't wait for summer.
SPEAKER_02Moist outside. What the heck? I never said that. What's that?
SPEAKER_14Well, when it's when it's like rainy, kind of like humid. No, not humid, because humid is like still like hot. So like moist, you know. What do you want me to say?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I don't know what weather you're describing. I don't, I really don't.
SPEAKER_14Rain.
SPEAKER_02I don't like rain.
SPEAKER_14I know, but it's not right like full-on rain. It's like sprinkles.
SPEAKER_02Oh, is it like summer rain?
SPEAKER_14Sprinkly. Sprinkly.
SPEAKER_02When it's sprinkly.
SPEAKER_14It's sprinkling. There it goes.
SPEAKER_02I don't know what I like. You know what? Maybe I used to say I like the summer so much because I lived in a home with central AC.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So it was easy like summer. And now we don't do the real summer. No, we don't have AC. And I'm like, what is this?
SPEAKER_14First time?
SPEAKER_02No, it's been like two years.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02No AC.
SPEAKER_14No, I know. That's what I'm saying. It's like it's your first time being like in having a real summer.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So that's why I'm like, I'm complaining. I'm just like, I'm old now. So I complain about everything.
SPEAKER_14That's true. We're old. Yeah. Kelly asks us how it feels to be a millennial, and I didn't want to say that. I wanted to make it sound as cool as possible.
SPEAKER_02I didn't know what to say. I was like, uh fine. I don't know. It hurts. It's my reality. My knees are.
SPEAKER_14I'm sweating.
SPEAKER_06I'm just kidding. All right.
SPEAKER_14Uh let's bring in today's guest, uh stand-up comedian. Please give it a for uh Kelly Farmer, ladies and gentlemen. Hi. What's up, Kelly?
SPEAKER_16Oh, yeah, yeah. I well, I barged in, I kicked the door in. Yeah, you didn't and I went, what's up, old people? It's not like being so old. I can hear your knees from the other corner of the room.
SPEAKER_02I'm sure you can.
SPEAKER_15That is right.
SPEAKER_02To answer your question, because I wanted to answer it on camera, is I don't feel any different.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02I think we talked about this with our other guests, and I'm still waiting to feel like an adult. So I don't know if that's the millennial in us that we just don't really like because I feel like everyone that's a millennial feels the same, like they haven't grown up yet.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, a state of arrested development. Right. Yeah. But I think that's a star in Jason Bateman.
SPEAKER_14I think it's like that with anybody. Like a just a human in general being because you're you're like every age you are up until now, right? So I feel that you are you you never really feel an like an adult.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_16I definitely tell that to the guys I hook up with where I'm like, I'm 16.
SPEAKER_06I'm like, okay.
SPEAKER_14Also, I will I will add, as a millennial, I feel that well, I think it's just my age in general. I like old things. Like I I like the way that me I think just media now, I I I'm just like longing for 90s, early 2000s type of media.
SPEAKER_16Sure.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16You don't need to even want it. It's out there. Yeah. It's just being reproduced all the time.
SPEAKER_14Right. And like we am what uh what like site were you on the other day that you were you got a you got like a camera?
SPEAKER_02Oh, it's called Retrospect. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_16Have you heard of it? Have you bought anything from it? Um, I got some headphone covers. Oh, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_14What color did you get?
SPEAKER_16I think I got I got lavender, pink, and orange.
SPEAKER_14Ah. Did you really order the you got them from me?
SPEAKER_16I ordered them for you.
SPEAKER_14It's because I asked you to order me stuff and you're like, yeah, I'll get it.
SPEAKER_02And then I never do.
SPEAKER_14It's my parents all over again.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you get an A on your them. Yeah. Only if you nail it.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, I I we were looking at I don't, I'm not gonna get them, but the the DVD VHS combo is like$300. I'm like, oh my god, that's wild.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, I collect VHS tapes, but then I'm like, for what?
SPEAKER_14Do you have a VH VHS tape?
SPEAKER_16I do, but it's like I never bust that out. No? I have a VHS player and TV in one. That's what I want.
SPEAKER_02That's what I want. The TV VHS player combo.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, I mean it's kind of fun because I can like, you know, with an extension cord, just like put it on my bed. I'm even just like curled up watching, I don't know, like Elmo.
SPEAKER_14Uh I'm 16 and uh what's your favorite VHS that you have that you like to watch?
SPEAKER_16I have a VHS copy of uh Ghost World.
SPEAKER_14Ghost World?
SPEAKER_16That's fun. I also have a VHS copy of uh Punchline. You ever heard of that movie?
SPEAKER_14No.
SPEAKER_16Starring uh Sally Field and Tom Hanks.
SPEAKER_14Really?
SPEAKER_16Punchline. They're comics.
SPEAKER_14What? Can you pull that up? I want to see this.
SPEAKER_16Sure. Do you happen to have Spice World? No, I think Spice World was just before me. All the Spice Girl stuff was really just before.
SPEAKER_14No, that's on um Safari. Oh. You want to go on?
SPEAKER_02I've been um I've been trying to uh watch Spice World and they don't have it anywhere. You can't even buy it to stream it.
SPEAKER_16Do they have it broken up into like a hundred? On YouTube, that's what I heard. Or on TikTok. You just watch on your phone.
SPEAKER_02Have you seen on TikTok that they put like full-length movies? Oh, I found something.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, and I would never want to watch a movie that way. No, me neither. I was like, um, okay.
SPEAKER_14On TikTok?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, on TikTok.
SPEAKER_14But can you like move it horizontal or do you have to watch it? No, you have to watch it, I think, upright. Are you serious? Really?
SPEAKER_16And then on TikTok, of course, it has like all that stuff around it. Like stuff.
SPEAKER_02Oh, this one.
SPEAKER_14Whoa.
SPEAKER_16Yep, there they are. It's very fun.
SPEAKER_14What year did this come out of?
SPEAKER_1698.
SPEAKER_02Is that what it's or 88? Oh, 88. I'm sorry, 88. 1988.
SPEAKER_14No way. I had no idea.
SPEAKER_02Okay, we're watching this tonight.
SPEAKER_14Yes.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, there's some really sad moments in that too. Yeah? Oh, yeah, I cry. I cry at this movie.
SPEAKER_02Okay, don't tell us. I'm like, I want to cry. No.
SPEAKER_14Who's in it? Let's see. Uh Sally Phil, Tom Hanks. Oh, Damon Wayans.
SPEAKER_16Yeah.
SPEAKER_14John Goodman.
SPEAKER_16John Goodman, yeah.
SPEAKER_14David Seltzer. Who's that? Michael. Can you put like cast or something? See who else is in there?
SPEAKER_02Let me see. Let me go back.
SPEAKER_14Oh yeah, they have it on VHS Tam.
SPEAKER_02Frenchline movie cast. Well, if anyone's out there and they have Spice World, please let me know.
SPEAKER_14I love Damon Wayne's and uh Blank Man. That's probably like one of my favorite movies that he's in.
SPEAKER_02Candace Cameron?
SPEAKER_14Oh.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, she's in it. Before her controversy?
SPEAKER_14Mac Robbins.
SPEAKER_02What's the controversy?
SPEAKER_16George McGrath. Is it just that she's Christian?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_16I know, yeah, right. Yeah. That's the controversy.
SPEAKER_02That's what it means. Is it really? I'm all the biggest controversies that she's Christian. That's it? No, didn't she like drive drunk before she became like full hardcore Christian?
SPEAKER_16Who hasn't?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but no, but she had like her kids. I know that that I didn't see.
SPEAKER_14Actually, that was a kids.
SPEAKER_02That's but I think she had her kids in the car. Yeah, I know. Am I making this up? Now I gotta see.
SPEAKER_14That was a pivotal move. Like you need events like that in your life to become Christian.
SPEAKER_16I don't think I really like that, Candace.
SPEAKER_14Right?
SPEAKER_02Candace Cameron, right?
unknownMm-hmm.
SPEAKER_14She's an I don't think I've ever seen her.
SPEAKER_16Uh Kurt Cameron.
SPEAKER_02Kurt Cameron. He's also like a head of the church member, right?
SPEAKER_16Right, yeah.
SPEAKER_02They're like really into like a church.
SPEAKER_16They're so into it. It's like their favorite thing. And my mom had a huge crush on him when she was a teenager. I'm like, is your mom my age? No, she's kidding.
SPEAKER_06My mom is not eight years older than me.
SPEAKER_02Oh.
SPEAKER_04What the heck?
SPEAKER_02We have a caller.
SPEAKER_04Oh, we should have.
SPEAKER_02Let me answer it. No.
SPEAKER_05Hello? Hello? Alright, I'm gonna hang out.
SPEAKER_02It's like hi, this is CVS letting you know that your hemorrhoid cream is ready.
SPEAKER_14Your preparation.
SPEAKER_16Hammer's so good. I was gonna say preparation area. Yeah. What else? Of course we're gonna say it's cream for your butt.
SPEAKER_14Yeah. Come on.
SPEAKER_02Oh, wait, I'm making this up.
SPEAKER_14There are no credible reports, credible reports, news articles, or public records indicating that Candace Cameron Buer has ever been arrested or charged with the DUI. Wow. You are debunked, lady.
SPEAKER_02Who was it then? Yeah, because she's got God on her side. Or maybe she scrubbed the internet. No?
SPEAKER_14That could be.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I'll find it. Somebody there was a white uh comedian, lady, sitcom person that drove drunk with their children.
SPEAKER_14Who's the one? Who was the one that like I guess she was drunk? She was like driving in a uh neighborhood and like she crashed like right into the car, and when they were trying to take her out of like the burning car, she was inside a body bag and she like ripped out of her body bag.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_14Um wonder she crashed.
SPEAKER_02Anne Hesh and her body bag. And was it I think that's her name.
SPEAKER_16What? You you had Anne Hayesh? Wait, what do you mean she was in the body bag?
SPEAKER_02Like they thought she was dead. Yeah. And they were already putting her on the gurney in a body bag. Like the body's dead.
SPEAKER_06Fascinating.
SPEAKER_14And she like pops out.
SPEAKER_06What's up?
SPEAKER_14There's Anne Hayesh. There's Jack.
SPEAKER_06Sorry. Music has been.
SPEAKER_14Um, what's going on with my phone today?
SPEAKER_02Uh yes.
SPEAKER_14Did she pass away?
SPEAKER_02It says death. Uh, Anne Haish died from inhalation and thermal injuries falling a fiery car crash.
SPEAKER_14But you gotta pull this video up. Kayla, are you like squeamish at all? Like, okay. Pull up video. Let's show her.
SPEAKER_11How do we find it? NBC 4's iTeam has obtained some new information about the car crash and the fire that led to the death of Ann Haish. Fire Department records now show it took at least 45 minutes to get her out of a burning house in Mar Vista. And a lot of time passed before the rescue effort actually began. Our investigative reporter Eric Leonard joins us live from the newsroom with more on that. Eric? Hi, Colleen.
SPEAKER_12Well, we've been able to put together a very detailed timeline. Minute by minute immediately began to attack the fire. As you can hear in these timestamped recordings we obtained under the California Public Records Act.
SPEAKER_08I think all open heavy calls coming out.
SPEAKER_12Yet for the next 20 minutes, according to the recordings of the radio traffic that captured all the frequencies firefighters were using, none of the firefighters at the scene were specifically directed to get to the car or to try to make a rescue of the person inside who we now know was Hague. At 1118 a.m., one firefighter even reports that there was no one trapped inside. Then at 1122 a.m., in what the fire department says was the chaos and confusion of fighting the fire, one of the incident commanders asks again about whether or not there could be a person trapped inside. Three minutes later, now at 1125 a.m., a firefighter gets close enough to the car to confirm. By now, about 24 minutes have elapsed since firefighters arrived. Anne Hayes was trapped inside her Mini Cooper surrounded by smoke and fire. LA City Fire Deputy Chief Richard Fields, who supervises all of West LA, says firefighters had to confront multiple problems and hazards before they could get to the car. Only that firefighters first inoffensive. That makes zero sense.
SPEAKER_14A car crashed. Of course you're gonna go for the car, right? Okay, yeah. Because somebody called. Yeah. Okay. Anyways, uh, see if you can find the the video. I'm on there.
SPEAKER_16I didn't know who Anne Haish was, and now I'm like mourning her death. You're gonna leave here all sad. I came in sad, or I'm gonna leave sad. Can't stop that now.
SPEAKER_02Oh, see, it's a conspiracy.
SPEAKER_14No, no, I seen the video.
SPEAKER_02It says Anne Haysht did not run out of a body bag following her.
SPEAKER_14She didn't run out, she popped out.
SPEAKER_16This is funny because you want to watch this so bad. Watch this woman trying to pry open a body bag. So bad. Please get the clip.
SPEAKER_14Get the clip. Bring it out.
SPEAKER_02Where did you see it?
SPEAKER_14On YouTube. Go to YouTube. I see it on Reddit, actually.
SPEAKER_02What's that one? Uh no, what's the other one that on OpenAI? The orange guy, the other one, the one that was like a duck or something. Truth Social or one of those. Okay, we're gonna find it. We're gonna find it.
SPEAKER_14It was there. No, it's really there. I will literally go nuts. It's not here.
SPEAKER_05This is unbelievable. Okay.
SPEAKER_14Okay, that's her speedy. Where did where did you put? No, running out. Don't put okay. Ann Ann H body bag.
SPEAKER_16Now type into eBay. Ann H body bag.
SPEAKER_14There we go. That's it. That's it. That's it. Oh. There we go.
SPEAKER_02Oh. It looks kind of fake now that I see it.
SPEAKER_14No.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. He's completely alive. See that? New surveillance video shows Hayesh barreling through an alleyway, nearly hitting a pedestrian.
SPEAKER_09Ash was reportedly speeding when she lost control and slammed into a home last Friday, setting the home and her car on fire. She's been in a coma ever since and on a penilator.
SPEAKER_10The movie was called Girl in the Motel, and it is a movie about the sex trafficking industry that is going on in multi-billion dollar industry.
SPEAKER_01There's nothing here that indicates that a crime has taken place.
SPEAKER_00Richard Glass owned Glass hair design in Venice Beach at less than an hour before Anne crashed her car into a nearby house. She opted the hit shop to buy a whip. You didn't notice anything out of the ordinary about Anne during their encounter. She wasn't speaking in cursive. She was very, very fortunate. Speaking of cursive? What is that about?
SPEAKER_04Video's not making me look good. No, no, no. Look at there. Completely alive.
SPEAKER_14Look at that. Look at that.
SPEAKER_04Leave me alone.
SPEAKER_16Okay. So it sounds like she knew too much. Yeah. And also if I ever see a friend in distress, I'm gonna be like, are you speaking in cursive to me right now?
SPEAKER_02What does that even mean?
SPEAKER_14What did he say?
SPEAKER_02She wasn't speaking in cursive.
SPEAKER_14She wasn't speaking in cursive.
SPEAKER_02I guess he meant, I guess he meant like she wasn't like not making sense.
SPEAKER_14Right. She was making sense.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_14What do the comments say? Let's go with the comments.
SPEAKER_02They wrapped her up like she was dead. Something's not right. This stinks to high heaven.
SPEAKER_16Or I'm sure the body bag stunk to high heaven. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02They had on her stretcher, like she was she popped out, like her life depended on it. That's too bad. An heish. R.I.P. Okay, so I don't know now.
SPEAKER_14No?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. The internet said no, and then this video said yes.
SPEAKER_16Well, Doug, because it's still satisfied?
SPEAKER_14Now that I seen the video again.
SPEAKER_16Now that we've spent a good 45 minutes on it.
SPEAKER_02Researching the video. I made the video. Chat GPT made the video.
SPEAKER_14How do you feel about AI?
SPEAKER_16Oh, I'm I'm anti.
SPEAKER_14You're anti-AI? Yeah. Uh uh to like what extent?
SPEAKER_16Um, like I don't use any of it. Um and if I do, it's because I don't know.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Um I know that Google kind of like forces us to now.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, it's it's kind of it interesting, even when you're Google searching stuff.
SPEAKER_16Yeah.
SPEAKER_14It uses AI to like summarize what you're looking for.
SPEAKER_16Like I don't use Chat GBT, I don't use um really any of it. No. Yeah. Um I follow links and my life is things take sl a lot slower. I I don't time's not on my side in this way. Um but I feel better about myself.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I just uh I don't I don't like any of it. I seen somebody today say if you complain if you're complaining about the heat but you use chat GPT, it's all your fault. Yeah. And I was like, oh man.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, I didn't realize the environmental impact that uh who we we were talking to um one of my friends, and he was explaining to me. I was like, that makes on the surface he told me about the environmental like damage that it's doing, but I just didn't get it. And he was like, Yeah, there's like these huge supercomputers. That need water. Right.
SPEAKER_02To cool it down because it's emitting so much heat. Right.
SPEAKER_16Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Damn. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_16You know, I got coffee this morning and the barista and I were talking about how hot it was, and I realized like, wow, you can't even have small talk anymore without it getting like sad and political. That's very true. Because like this is we're in winter. It's not even spring yet.
SPEAKER_15That's true.
SPEAKER_16It's technically not spring, right? No, that's March tw March 21st. March, yeah. Yeah. Oh. So we're in winter and it's 95 degrees outside. And um I was just visiting Portland and there's they should have snow right now, and it's just kind of drizzling. And that's that's horrible. We're all gonna die. Dang. And that's what small talk is now. It's talking about how we're all gonna die. Oh, that I didn't think about that. I'm working on it. I'm working on that as a bit. I'm rolling that over.
SPEAKER_14I like it.
SPEAKER_16We'll see where that goes.
SPEAKER_14It's got some legs.
SPEAKER_02Thanks.
SPEAKER_14Can move.
SPEAKER_02But what can we like, what can we actually small talk that doesn't involve something big?
SPEAKER_16It could probably be some I it would have to be something really dumb. It'd be like, I saw a dog today. Did you see any dogs?
SPEAKER_02And then I'm gonna be like, oh my god, did you see that they stormed a uh a beagle, a beagle farm? Did you see that? See, it's just like it goes to everything. Did you see that though? No, we don't pull up the clay. So there's like a beagle farm that they were um like breeding, like that's all they were doing for. And all these activists, like hundreds of activists, yeah, wearing like white, like hazmat suits, like stormed up.
SPEAKER_14I gotta see this. So hold on, wait.
SPEAKER_02But it's it's kind of cute too.
SPEAKER_16Just because there's beagles.
SPEAKER_02Just because there are beagles, yeah.
SPEAKER_06These beagles running for their lives. No, the people were holding them and the beagles are like okay.
SPEAKER_14Throw a beagle in a situation and you're good if you're you're having problems.
SPEAKER_02See, everything is like uh let me see. Where did I see it? Beagle rescue.
SPEAKER_06Fake. Fake news.
SPEAKER_02Is it Las Vegas? I I'll find it.
SPEAKER_14I think beagles are adorable.
SPEAKER_02Snoopy's a beagle.
SPEAKER_14Is he? I thought he yeah. Oh, he that makes sense actually.
SPEAKER_02Have you seen the first or the episode where they explain like where Snoopy came from? He came from a little farm, didn't he? But he was given to a little girl. Oh so he was he was me over here.
SPEAKER_14What happened to the girl?
SPEAKER_02So so Snoopy was from a farm away. From a farm, and then the farmer gave the beagle to the little girl, and the little girl loved him so much, and they lived in in the city, and they lived in an apartment, and at some point her parents told her that she couldn't keep him in the apartment anymore. That's so then they had to give him away to the pound. And that's why they were saying that he's like so angry and stuff, and he always has these like you know, and in parts of it.
SPEAKER_16Wow, his dark backstory. I was like Amber's so familiar with the peanut cinematic universe, and I that's a bummer. That's why he went on to be the red baron.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_16I I happen to stumble across it.
SPEAKER_14What's the red baron?
SPEAKER_16The red baron um pilot fighter in the World War II.
SPEAKER_14I have no fighter pilot fights.
SPEAKER_02I don't think he watches uh no he doesn't watch peanuts.
SPEAKER_14Isn't peanuts like from the like 1930s?
SPEAKER_02I I made him watch like the Thanksgiving one where they eat toast and uh popcorn.
SPEAKER_14That was cool. We gotta have uh can we have a Thanksgiving like that? Toast and popcorn?
SPEAKER_16No. My favorite Snoopy moment is they go to the library and he picks out a book and it it's just titled Bunnies and he's reading it and he starts laughing. He's like and he just progressively gets louder and louder, like the Snoopy laugh, right? And they're like, You can't have a dog in here. But it was peanuts, so they were like and Charlie Brown's like Snoopy.
SPEAKER_02You know, one time uh in one of my many surgeries, I had I've had many surgeries when I was growing up as a kid, and on one of them they gave me like Vicodin, like really, really freaking like but yes, as an adult, no, as a seven-year-old. Sure. Um so I was laying, and I remember that they like dosed me with it, and then when it started hitting, I was like, whoa. No, I really was. I was like laying there, and then like the roof opened, and then the clouds were like, woo, like you know, I mean it was kind of cool, I guess. Yeah, you know when you're on Vicanton, yeah. And then all adults sounded like the peanuts. Amazing, and I was like, whoa, and then I knocked out. It only lasts like maybe a minute, right? And then it would like knock me out.
SPEAKER_16Your little seven-year-old body couldn't like it.
SPEAKER_14Wait, they gave you Vicodin and they gassed you?
SPEAKER_02No, they gassed you to before. This was after I was already about the surgery.
SPEAKER_14And you fell asleep. Yeah. Whoa.
SPEAKER_02But I I'll never forget that.
SPEAKER_14I wanted to see if I could find the my small talk involves Anne Haysh and her.
SPEAKER_16Anna Hayesh bursting on her body bag. It was kind of one of the first things you decided to bring up. I was like, I really like this movie, Punchline, it's about comedy. And then you're like, right, right, right. Have you ever seen Anne Hayesh? But Anne Hayes Body Bag. The late great Anne Hayesh. I didn't even know who she was. I think uh she was in a show that I watched once.
SPEAKER_14She was in Anaconda with Jennifer Lopez. Oh that's all I remember her from. And the body bag thing.
SPEAKER_02So Jennifer Lopez sent a hit out to no you seen in the video.
SPEAKER_14You seen on Reddit what they said about her and doing that movie.
SPEAKER_02Now you got me thinking about small talk, that's not sad. Yeah, what I'm gonna go home and really think about this.
SPEAKER_16Well, and I can't even I I'm the worst at small talk because people will just say, like, oh, what do you do for work? And like, I work at um a theme park. Oh, cool. But it's a cemetery. Oh. So you know, not all themes are fun.
SPEAKER_02Wait. Can can you tell us a little more?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_16Okay, got it. Yes, now I'm gonna Google. I'm like, You asked if there was anything I didn't want to talk about. Oh, okay, no. Okay, it's a good one. No, no, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Um, no, that's actually a bit that I do on stage, but I do work at a cemetery. Um, so when people ask, what do you do for work? I'm like, I work at a cemetery, they're like, oh like uh oh boy. They're like, oh, here we go.
SPEAKER_14Like a human one?
SPEAKER_02Yes. Well, it's because we know someone that owns a pet cemetery. Sure.
SPEAKER_16So sorry to disappoint you. No.
SPEAKER_14Well, you got so sad about the beagles.
SPEAKER_16So I I figure Yeah, I can like beagles and work at a human cemetery. Those things aren't mutually exclusive.
SPEAKER_02So you work at the actual cemetery, not like the cemetery. Not like the the like preparing.
SPEAKER_16Oh, it is no, it is all okay. Got it.
SPEAKER_02Okay, got it.
SPEAKER_16I work in the uh the flower shop.
SPEAKER_14Oh, cool.
SPEAKER_16Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_14Well, that's nice.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, I meet with families, they pick flowers out.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16It's cool. It's good. I mean, it's probably the most positive part of any of it.
SPEAKER_14Absolutely.
SPEAKER_16Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Choosing the color they liked and which a lot of people don't know.
SPEAKER_16They're like, fuck. What colors did she like? Um, and then they feel then they feel worse because they don't remember.
SPEAKER_02That's a big thing. Well, let you know now, Gil. Yeah, you like lavender.
SPEAKER_14Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02What were you gonna say?
SPEAKER_14I was gonna say lilies and sunflowers.
SPEAKER_02No, I don't know. You like sunflowers. You're wrong.
SPEAKER_14I'm just gonna get you the stuff I like.
SPEAKER_02You get sunflowers because you like them.
SPEAKER_14The flowers are for me, actually.
SPEAKER_02I know. Because then you pass.
SPEAKER_14All the arrangements are are basically gonna be for me.
SPEAKER_02Got it. I mean, yeah. I'm right.
SPEAKER_14I gotta look at them.
SPEAKER_02I feel like sometimes with funerals, and the only reason I say this is because when my grandmother passed away, she like literally, it was like a day before she passed, and she was like, She already knew she was gonna pass. And then she's like, I don't want a church. Whoa, I don't want anyone to like say mass. I don't want them to do the whole seven days after that Latinos do, and like she wanted nothing to do with religion, and then I was like, All right, on it. And then she passed away, and then they held a mass at the funeral. And then we were like, I was like, what the f and then Candace Cameron was there, and then she showed up drunk.
SPEAKER_16She drove their drunk and there was another casket and hash in there. Like, oh, she would have hated this.
SPEAKER_02So that's why I think that funerals are not they're not really for who passed, it's for people that are living, right?
SPEAKER_16Yeah. A friend of mine said that uh when his aunt was dying, um, they were like, Well, what do you want us to do for the funeral? And she said, I don't know, surprise me.
SPEAKER_14That's awesome. That's great.
SPEAKER_02I think I'm I'm I'm in the same thing.
SPEAKER_14Surprise you?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't want anybody to be quiet either. I hate when I go somewhere or to I hate when I go to a funeral and I can't be loud. No.
SPEAKER_14Well, when when I talk, when I do my speech, I want everybody to be quiet.
SPEAKER_02Well, yeah, yeah. They're there that's it.
SPEAKER_14That's all I care about.
SPEAKER_02But I don't want to be like, I don't laugh.
SPEAKER_14Don't that who do you want to do your eulogy?
SPEAKER_02I don't know.
SPEAKER_14No, nobody. Nobody? No.
SPEAKER_02Your side we said like the other day when we were saying we're like everyone's eulogy is always like, they were such a good person. Oh lit up the room. Yeah, right. They were such a light. I did uh just tell the truth about me. I did my I will don't worry.
SPEAKER_14He's like, I got it all written down. I got it. I'll play some stuff. I've been preparing this unit a long time. So I did my my sister's gonna play a video of Amber Bobby.
SPEAKER_06So we were just playing. I'm all hitting them. Get that camera out of my bag. How far down does this rabbit hole go? Everybody's just like, oh.
SPEAKER_02Maybe she wasn't a big one.
SPEAKER_14I'm just like the only one laughing. It's for me. It's for me, guys. No, I uh I did my I did my sister's eulogy and I insert, I did uh like I I wrote a like a clip from like uh one of so there's this episode in The Office where Michael Scott, I guess there's like a a bird that dies.
SPEAKER_16Oh yes.
SPEAKER_14You remember that?
SPEAKER_16Yeah, I actually just watched this episode in my uncle's hospital room. Really? Yeah, I had a weird two weeks. Go on.
SPEAKER_14So there's he does a eulogy about the bird. Yeah, and I recite, I recite that that eulogy in my sister's eulogy. And I thought it was great, I thought it was cute, and uh nobody got it. Nobody got it except for Russ, which is my best friend, and he was just like nobody got it, but I got him.
SPEAKER_16Did your sister like the office? No, what the you were just like, well, I don't know what else you would could possibly say for a eulogy except that. The only instance of a funeral you've ever seen is the host. This is what people say when things die.
SPEAKER_02You're like like the late and great Michael and the host is like, all right, give it up the host for Gilbert and his bird.
SPEAKER_16The host. I actually did go to a memorial just two weeks ago and it was run like a comedy show.
SPEAKER_14Oh, see, look at do that. Do that for me.
SPEAKER_16No, I mean it you yeah, we'll do that.
SPEAKER_14Well, some of them.
SPEAKER_16Or it was it, it was it too awkward.
SPEAKER_14Well, was it a comic? Yeah, was it for a comic? I've only been to one of those and it's literally like like that.
SPEAKER_16Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Right.
SPEAKER_16Well, they called it a celebration of life too. Okay. Which is, you know, whatever they wanted to do. But um, I I would not want that for myself. No, no, I would want it to be a sad funeral. Oh, you do want it to be sad? I want it, I mean, I think like a celebration of life is like a birthday. That's what a birthday is. You're celebrating life. Um, but I you gotta have time to grieve and have a sad yeah. Yeah, I don't I don't want anyone laughing at my funeral. This isn't a joke. I'm dead. God.
SPEAKER_14We're gonna clip that and then do a video for everybody to watch.
SPEAKER_16That video at my funeral. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I've been yelling at every whole episode on your funeral.
SPEAKER_16Everyone's like, She was such a light, and I'm like, I'm dead. Fucking owl.
SPEAKER_14But we were talking about that, about how everybody's like remembrance of somebody is always like positive. And that's not the case, right? Is it no?
SPEAKER_16Yeah, it's crazy that we've ended up talking about this. I mean, I kind of brought it up in a way with my job, but yeah, the memorial was just very positive. And I was very close to this person, so I had a much more nuanced view of them, and everyone just going up saying, like, oh, he was so great and such a good friend, and he's the last person we would have expected this to happen to. It's like, oh, then you I guess you didn't really know him at all.
SPEAKER_02That that's why our conversation started because we were watching like a true crime um like series, and everybody Which one was it?
SPEAKER_14Do you remember?
SPEAKER_02It was the Friends Like These or something like that on Hulu. I think it's called something like that. And everybody in the documentary was like, Oh, she was such a ray. Why are you laughing? You're thinking about your sister's memorial.
SPEAKER_13Did I just that's sad? Actually, you saying that is pretty bad.
SPEAKER_16What why are you laughing? Are you thinking about the last time you talk about your sister's I mean we were just laughing about that? Very true.
SPEAKER_14No, the the the name of the title of the show sometimes.
SPEAKER_02But everybody in the documentary was like, oh, she she was amazing, she was such a light, and you know, she didn't, I mean obviously she didn't deserve it, but you know, like all these things I kind of like what you're saying, like that would never happen. I'm like, this bitch deserved. She didn't deserve it, but you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_16I yeah, I want when people speak at my funeral for it to be just barely nice, like, yeah, she didn't really deserve this, I guess.
SPEAKER_02I mean, kind of on some days. I mean, well, I don't know what I want. Do whatever you want. How's that? Whatever's gonna make you Yeah. Cause I don't know if I come back. I don't know if I'm hovering over or seeing her anything.
SPEAKER_14You come back as a fly.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna assume that I don't come back.
SPEAKER_14Come back as a fly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Una mosca.
SPEAKER_02Una mosca.
SPEAKER_16Well, people because I was close to this person, people have been saying, like, like my cat sneezed on my face, and I told my friend about it, and she was like, Oh my god, that was him. Like he came to you in that way. I went, yeah, ghost him put ghost pepper under my cat's nose to make her sneeze on my face.
SPEAKER_02I'm like, was you absolutely is your friend Latina? No. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_16No, not at all. Because in in like I would never know.
SPEAKER_06Please. Be real.
SPEAKER_02Oh mom definitely talking in your funeral.
SPEAKER_16Let the record show I'm Hispanic.
SPEAKER_02Are you?
SPEAKER_16I always get that. Are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mom's very, very white, and my dad is Hispanic. Oh, okay. He looks like Gilbert.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_14As they tend to. Right on.
SPEAKER_02But they were saying that we've seen a comedian, and one of his jokes was that, like, how all like Latinos, we always want to see, like, you know, any little thing is like somebody and I think he said like a dust of like like a like a dust particle, and you're like, Oh, there's my tia, or you know, like a fly, and it's like, oh, my tea's here. But so right now that you said that, I it made me think of that because it's yeah, my cat's booger landing on my face.
SPEAKER_16It's that's my friend.
SPEAKER_14If anybody has the chance to go see Willie Barsa Barcena live, go do it. Oh my god, it was such a good show. It was such a good show.
SPEAKER_02We were the youngest ones there.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I just tell you, I'll just uh let you in with that.
SPEAKER_16I love being the youngest person at a at a comedy show that I'm on that I'm hosting, that I have to get all of these elderly people excited about. I love that. That's my favorite thing, and I've been doing it a lot lately.
SPEAKER_02Just hyping up the old people. By old you mean the millennials?
SPEAKER_06These 30-year-olds.
SPEAKER_02So the video that I seen earlier that I was telling you guys was um they're asking, I guess, like I don't know if it's Gen Z or what's the generation over?
SPEAKER_16Uh Alpha.
SPEAKER_02Alpha. And they're asking them, they're asking them like who's uh what generation has the worst style? And everybody said millennials.
SPEAKER_14Whoa.
SPEAKER_02And in my head, I was like, bitch, everything you're wearing we already wore. Like, and they were saying, well, and that's what they were saying was like, yeah, they had style like back then.
SPEAKER_16We already wore that. Do you guys have a favorite generation? Because I really like Gen X. I have some Gen X friends. Okay. What's Gen X? Um, just before millennials. So, like my mom?
SPEAKER_14The 40-year-olds.
SPEAKER_16Oh. Oh yeah. Well, 50 now. Yeah, so they're like 40 to 50, right?
SPEAKER_14Like Mario and Super Steve.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, we have some friends.
SPEAKER_14All the guys that talk shit to me on the other podcast that I know, yeah.
SPEAKER_02She's Gen X. Oh, yeah. I like her. Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Well, most of our friends are are Gen X. I was like, like my mom.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, no, my Gen X friends, um, they're either I I either see them and adopt them as my parents, um, or I date them. So, yeah, I really like it. You really like them. I'm very attracted to them.
SPEAKER_02I feel like Gen X have like seen some shit. They've been through it, and they're still cool though.
SPEAKER_16Well, I was talking to my buddy Jason Horton, he's a comic, very funny. Um, and he he's very Gen X, loves to talk about that. And he was saying, like, yeah, half of his life there was no internet. He had a pre-internet life as an adult, even. And then like around my age, suddenly we had the internet. Um so I think that's a very interesting uh way to I don't know, look back on it and be able to like like reflect on that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Because we us as being like early 90s, we still got some childhoodness without like internet, and whatever internet there is a mosquito that's biting me. Whatever internet there was, it was like dialed up.
SPEAKER_14San Hayesh.
SPEAKER_02And the mosquitoes and hesh.
SPEAKER_14She's like, stop fucking playing that video.
SPEAKER_16She's here. She's biting me.
SPEAKER_14There it is. You see that? Yeah, I see it.
SPEAKER_02Ann. And is that you, bitch? Leave me alone. It bit me up already on my thighs. Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay. Um, but we did. We we got to see like kind of pre any of that. Like, I didn't have a cell phone until I was like 18. Oh, really? Yeah, nearing 19. Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Oh, then we must have had a cell phone at the same time because I got one when I was 10. Yeah, little flip situation.
SPEAKER_14You know what? I think I think I want to get a flip phone, honestly. I am like so tired of these things. I'm so tired of it. It just my research. You just have to have self- I I but I don't, and I know myself. I know I will go on there.
SPEAKER_16You run a podcast. I know, but I know what are you gonna do on your flip phone post? The only way we've communicated is through Instagram.
SPEAKER_14That's true. But I like I'm trying to get more into like phone calls.
SPEAKER_16I love a phone call. So do I. I love phone calls. I will just cold call anybody. I do too.
SPEAKER_02It's so it's pick a random number and call especially after after I have my coffee. It gets me like that's how you start when I'm like calling my aunts in Mexico, and I'm like, I swear I've I'm on the phone a lot.
SPEAKER_14You are, you know what? I I've noticed that.
SPEAKER_02And I used to hate that growing up, like going to someone's house, and then they'd be like, okay, and then it'd be like and now I'm that person. Everybody calls me. I like it though.
SPEAKER_14Because you answer.
SPEAKER_02I and I won't answer text. It'll take me like three to five businesses.
SPEAKER_14That's why they call you.
SPEAKER_16Yeah. Now that my friend has uh has died, unfortunately, I um I'm sorry to hear that, by the way. Don't talk about it.
SPEAKER_14Okay.
SPEAKER_16He's uh anyway. Let me get into it. Uh now that now that he's gone, I only have like three voicemails from him because I always picked up the phone. And now I'm gonna start sending people straight to voicemail just in case. I I have some saved. I'm not gonna lie for that reason.
SPEAKER_14Do you?
SPEAKER_16I mean, the only voicemails I have are him telling me I don't need to give him a ride. Put it into a builder bear. That's awesome. Yeah, in a builder bear, I push the button and it's just him going like, hey, um, I'm actually gonna see you there. I'm gonna call an Uber.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you're all you're all hugging the Builder Bear and he's just talking about over. Yeah. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_14Uh you could do that. You could put stuff in a Builder Bear?
SPEAKER_16Yeah, little recordings. Really? Mm-hmm. Oh, you can put anything into a Builder Bear. Yeah, you can.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, when you go to the Builder Bear, they give you like a You know when you when you go to the Builder Bear workshop.
SPEAKER_14Uh-huh. Never been. The next time that you go to the Builder Bear workshop.
SPEAKER_16Bring anything. Bring any of this stuff.
SPEAKER_14Okay. Bring all of it.
SPEAKER_16Put your put your phone in there. Get a flip phone.
SPEAKER_14Oh. Yeah, that would work.
SPEAKER_02And that way you don't use it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Yep. And I have to like rip it open to you. If I really want to use my phone, I have to like tear it apart. Yeah. Tear it up. Tear up that build the bear.
SPEAKER_02Oh. No. No.
SPEAKER_14Oh.
SPEAKER_02Just get that. Get that block that I told you. A block. So it's like this block. I see this. Just get the brick and smash your phone and case closed. Get a block. It's like a little block, and you put it, it's like magnet, so people put it in their fridge so that they don't have to get up. But it literally locks your phone. Like you have to do like a bunch of shit to it, like decipher it and everything in order for you to rubics. Yeah, to rubic.
SPEAKER_14Pull it up. I want to see this bad boy.
SPEAKER_02So you put like a timer, like, oh, something is fucking.
SPEAKER_14Caesar Chavez.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna come out. I support everybody.
SPEAKER_14She does.
SPEAKER_02I support everybody.
SPEAKER_14So for Caesar Chavez.
SPEAKER_02Except for him.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh what was I saying? Block brick.
SPEAKER_14Block brick. I want to see these bad boys. Um I know you were telling me about it, but I just never looked into it because I still want to use my phone.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, see, you're not committed to it. Oh, this one, brick. Get brick, get bricked up. Like the show. Take back your time.
SPEAKER_14Bricked up right now. Take back your time. That one. Introducing brick. How much is this thing?
SPEAKER_02It says a physical device that temporary removes. I was reading that. Like, I'm so tired of using devices. I'm gonna have to get a new device.
SPEAKER_16Stop using my devices.
SPEAKER_15That's what it sounds like.
SPEAKER_02Or your phone designed for simplicity, no subscription, no complex setups, just that.
SPEAKER_14No. How much is this thing?$59. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_16What?
SPEAKER_14This will actually save me money in the long run.
SPEAKER_16Like nothing. It looks like a piece of plastic.
SPEAKER_14It does.
SPEAKER_16I'd like to think that it's just a magnet, so it's not even locking your phone, it's just messing it up. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Destroying your phone little by little. See, you've had to put it here. I think it's like those ones where you have to use it why wait, hold on.
SPEAKER_16Oh, it's showing you all the things you've got to do. You'd be studying, you'd be spending time with your child and playing Scrabble. Yeah, we haven't played Scrabble in a long time.
SPEAKER_02Because of your fucking phone. Because I hate your phone. Um I think we've just become boring. Or boring millennials.
SPEAKER_14No, I'm not boring.
SPEAKER_16I mean, honestly, the things it's showing, like playing with your baby and playing with me. I don't want to play with my baby. Like those are boring things. They are. Why would I do that when I could be watching anything? Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Oh my dick. You could be watching NH. Command of it.
SPEAKER_16Speaking of my Disney called me.
SPEAKER_14Oh. You take that?
SPEAKER_02No. Is lavender your favorite color? No. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_16I wanted to connect with you. So yeah, remember for the rest of the podcast. I do love, I love all colors. I'm like.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_16I was like, I want my tech to be lavender, so I got that. Um, I still have the one with the button. Oh, yeah. Oh, cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah, you're cooler than us.
SPEAKER_16That's what did it.
SPEAKER_13The button on the phone.
SPEAKER_02I don't know what it does. I don't know what it does. And all you know is that it locks your phone.
SPEAKER_14Is there like a uh like a video that you can watch? I'm into videos.
SPEAKER_16I've gotten really into videos. 30 years later. I was watching. Maybe the reason the accident happened was she was on her phone and she really could have used a brick.
SPEAKER_14Yeah. Oh, that's what you have to do.
SPEAKER_02So you put it and then you set the timer, okay. I want to take an hour off.
SPEAKER_14Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02And within the hour, you can't get your phone unless you have like an emergency call. So I think you put it.
SPEAKER_14How would they know that you're an emergency?
SPEAKER_02Because you set it up to like Yeah. To do that. I mean, you're not like it's never gonna come back. You have to literally get up and go to the brick to unlock your phone.
SPEAKER_14You should put the brick like two miles away.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's that's what the like I mean, you're not supposed to put that far, but but yeah, pretty much. It's because people have big houses, so then they put it in the kitchen and then they're in the living room.
SPEAKER_16But at that point, do you need the brick? Just leave your phone downstairs. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Now I gotta go all the way downstairs with my phone. I'd rather I pull out my iPad.
SPEAKER_02You pull out all other five devices. Yeah, you're on your iWatch. Turn on my TV. I'm on my iWatch.
SPEAKER_16My Nintendo DS. See? I'll find a way. I'll find a screen.
SPEAKER_14We will.
SPEAKER_02We have like five different screens, but we have no microwave. And we think we're superior. We're like, yeah.
SPEAKER_16I don't have a microwave either. That's good.
SPEAKER_02I have no space for one. But do you have a use for it? Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Yeah? It makes my life worse that I don't. Somebody asked you yesterday, right?
SPEAKER_14Yeah, they're like, uh, just pop it in the microwave and you'll be good to go.
SPEAKER_16And I'm just like set, and you're everything will be great.
SPEAKER_14I was like, what? I don't have one of those. Told them. Yeah. I was like, I don't have one of those.
SPEAKER_16My office has a microwave, so that's how I get away with it. Although some friends brought me popcorn, I was like, fuck. Well, we made popcorn the other day on the stove.
SPEAKER_14That's why the conversation came up because there was uh just a random microwave at our office, and uh the superintendent wanted to like take it with him and give it to somebody.
SPEAKER_16No, please.
SPEAKER_05No, it's my one way to eat food, please.
SPEAKER_04Like, how are we popcorn?
SPEAKER_06No one else cares. Yeah, they're like okay, Gilbert.
SPEAKER_04Relax, dude.
SPEAKER_06Watch your videos.
SPEAKER_14Not even working.
SPEAKER_02He's just putting stuff in the microwave the whole time.
SPEAKER_06No, please, what am I gonna do here?
SPEAKER_14Just stacks of like, I don't know. What do you put in the microwave? Just little hot pockets. Oh my god. Okay, there we go.
SPEAKER_02So I think frozen burrito.
SPEAKER_14If I eat eight more of that stuff, then we would have to get one because it doesn't taste the same in a in an air fryer. No. And uh uh they're specifically made for microwaves.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Hot pockets?
SPEAKER_02Frozen burritos, too. We've tried to put them in like the little conviction of it. They don't work and they taste like shit. I only use my oven. Yeah, that's what we do too.
SPEAKER_14You put a hot pocket in the oven?
SPEAKER_16I don't eat hot pockets.
SPEAKER_14Oh. Have you had one before?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. They're not that good, huh?
SPEAKER_13They're good.
SPEAKER_02I think you're the only one that likes hot pockets.
SPEAKER_16Sorry, I've I don't know why I found that so funny.
SPEAKER_14They keep they can't just keep a whole corporation open for one person.
SPEAKER_16You're the only one buying them. I think I I just had like a flashback to when I was like 10 and used to just house hot pockets like crazy. Just the cheese ones. So you did eat hot pockets. A pocket of cheese. Yes. Yes, I did.
SPEAKER_02I like pizza bagels more.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, those are probably meant to be.
SPEAKER_14Okay, pizza bagels in an air fryer.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, an oven.
SPEAKER_14Thumbs up.
SPEAKER_16An air fryer is just a little oven. It's just an easy bake oven.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's what we have. We have one of those, like it look it literally looks like an easy bake oven, and it's like seven settings. So you could do like an oven, roast, air frying, all that shiz. Yeah. But it does look like an easy bake oven because it's lavender. That's why I got expected.
SPEAKER_14I got a Lego coffee maker.
SPEAKER_02I always wanted an easy bake oven. You never got one? No.
SPEAKER_14I'm gonna get you one.
SPEAKER_02Mom thought I was gonna burn the house down.
SPEAKER_14I'm gonna get you.
SPEAKER_02But then she let me make a sadias on the stove. Like, it doesn't make sense, lady.
SPEAKER_14Did you flip it with your fingers or like a fork?
SPEAKER_02No, I've always flipped it with my hands.
SPEAKER_14Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02Really? Mm-hmm.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I have no more. Amber's really hardcore. I'm real hardcore Mexican. She has no more fingerprints after she like your aunt said, and she's like, oh, you're Mexican Mexican. I was like, Mexican Mexican. What kind of Mexican are you?
SPEAKER_16Oh, you're Mexican square.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_14From like Mexico.
SPEAKER_02Well, I was born here, but sure.
SPEAKER_16Oh, just kidding. Well, the record show Amber was born here.
SPEAKER_02Unless you have my passport.
SPEAKER_14Do you carry with it?
SPEAKER_02I carry it. Like I would get profiled, right?
SPEAKER_14Yeah, you wouldn't.
SPEAKER_02I don't know, man. I don't know. No, it's because I don't have an ID. I've never had an ID. No, I'm like, I've had an ID once.
SPEAKER_14Off the record?
SPEAKER_02Off the record. I don't exist. I don't have social security. No, I'm just getting an I do.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, you do.
SPEAKER_02No, I know. I'm just don't say that he's all scared.
SPEAKER_16They're gonna bust in the right now. Good luck. Good luck finding the door. I know.
SPEAKER_13That's true.
SPEAKER_02I know. That's funny. So you do comedy?
SPEAKER_16So anyway. Yeah, I do. I do a lot of comedy. I do stand up.
SPEAKER_14Back to uh flip action. What was the movie?
SPEAKER_16Punchline. Punchline.
SPEAKER_14Where did you find that out?
SPEAKER_16Like, how did you oh yeah, there was a DVD video store coming out of business near me when I was a teenager, and they were just like, take anything. And so I saw Punchline, it was like Tom Hanks, Sally Field, they're comedians, and I was already into stand-up comedy. So I have that on DVD and on read just. I'm a real punchline head.
SPEAKER_14Whoa.
SPEAKER_16Yeah. Um, but uh yeah, I do stand up, but I've always really been into it, like since I was a kid.
SPEAKER_14You like uh like stand-up or like stand up and like uh stand up and sit down. Sit down, sideways, lean on a wall.
SPEAKER_16Sideways also there's a movie called Sideways?
SPEAKER_14Yeah. I don't know. Not a big video person. Uh also wait, sorry.
SPEAKER_16You're not a big video person?
SPEAKER_14I don't think so. Can you pull up the video? Yes. No, can you um no? Don't look up anything. What was I gonna say? Uh sitcoms. Do you like sitcoms?
SPEAKER_16Um, yeah.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, not like new ones really, but is there any new sit?
SPEAKER_14Yeah, there's gotta be.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, but I feel like they've just all gotten really bad. They're really bad.
SPEAKER_14I haven't really watched sitcoms. I've been like going into like the early 2000s stuff. I started watching uh Curb, Your Enthusiasm recently. Uh Sarah Silverman's uh show that Sarah Silverman program. Yeah, that was great. Oh my god. So funny.
SPEAKER_16Yeah. Excuse me. Uh anyway. Oh my god, everyone's calling me. I'm so popular. Like, sorry, I'm I'm recording a podcast. I burp into the mic again.
SPEAKER_14Who do you who are some of your uh like com comedy, like your Mount Rushmore of comedy?
SPEAKER_16I was always really into just like women in comedy. Yeah. As a young girl getting into it, I was Maria Bamford was number one. Oh my god, she's so good. She got me into it. I was 10 years old. I saw her on Comedy Central and was like, I want to do what she's doing. And then I would commit all of her bits to memory and perform them for my grandma. And she'd go, Fuck, I hate this. I hate this shit. Like, I'm gonna be a star. Anyway, um, Maria Bamford.
SPEAKER_14Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_16Um, Janine Garofalo, Sarah Silverman, Morgan Murphy, uh, Wanda Sykes.
SPEAKER_02Ooh, I like Wanda Sykes.
SPEAKER_16Um Mark Marin.
SPEAKER_14He's good.
SPEAKER_16I used to be really into Louie. I used to he um he spoke at George Carlin's funeral. And I used to say, like when I was a teenager, like, I'm gonna speak at his funeral one day. And I feel like now that would just be a really bad PR move if I did that.
SPEAKER_14It would. Yeah. I think so.
SPEAKER_16He um I go up, he was a light.
SPEAKER_14He was such a good person.
SPEAKER_02He lit up every room he went into.
SPEAKER_14Did you know I didn't know Janine Goro I Janine Garofalo? Her. I didn't know she was on uh Saturday Night Live.
SPEAKER_16Briefly, yeah.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16She said that that was like receiving um a a blanket with smallpox on it.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Thank you. Yeah, she didn't like it.
SPEAKER_14No.
SPEAKER_16Which I feel like a lot of people have that same experience.
SPEAKER_14I've heard that a lot from women in stand-up.
SPEAKER_16Like Sarah Silverman was on SNL.
SPEAKER_14Yes.
SPEAKER_16Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Did she she was on for like what two seasons? Not for very long. Right.
SPEAKER_16I think she even said like none of her sketches ever made it.
SPEAKER_14Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Wait, so you can be on the show, but none of your sketches make it on the show.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, because you can be there's like performers, there's performer writers, and then there's just writers for the show.
SPEAKER_16I would love to just be a writer for the show.
SPEAKER_14100%. Do you write sketches?
SPEAKER_16I don't do sketches, but I do try, you know, I do scripts. Oh, you do uh script right now. Oh nice. Um yeah. I can't really talk about it because it's probably gonna be a really big deal.
SPEAKER_14Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_16Gilbert, don't even ask me about that.
SPEAKER_14I'm not gonna ask you. I've been I've been getting into s that stuff. Wanting to write something like that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Like um, like for TV or a movie or a sketch. Like, oh, you you love videos so much you're like, I bet I could make one of these.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Yeah.
SPEAKER_14I think I want to do like a a web series.
SPEAKER_16What would it be about?
SPEAKER_05What is that noise? Is somebody in here? No, I think they're up there.
SPEAKER_14They're like moving stuff around in the storage.
SPEAKER_16It's okay, it's just my dead friend. It's Anna.
SPEAKER_14I've never heard it that loud. I'm scared. Don't scare me.
SPEAKER_16You're afraid of Anna. You're afraid?
SPEAKER_14No, it's gone. We're good.
SPEAKER_02He's afraid. No, no, no. We're good. We're good.
SPEAKER_14We're good now. They were just up there moving boxes.
SPEAKER_16Why'd you get so scared? I only got scared because you guys were scared. No, we're nobody was scared. I've never been in this building before. And I'm just meeting you two both right now.
SPEAKER_14Nobody's scared.
SPEAKER_02This is part of the act, and then after you get disappeared, no one just gives. Oh, please. God, I don't want to get disappeared. I wasn't scared at all. No, I was um but I seen his face like no, I'm confused.
SPEAKER_14That was my confused face. Can I help you? Are you in distress? That was my confused face.
SPEAKER_02Got it.
SPEAKER_14I don't think anything's gone.
SPEAKER_02He's all let me take the camera off while he wipes his tears.
SPEAKER_14No, no, no. Judd scared. What we're talking about? I don't know. Oh, the script. Um yeah, you know what? I I've been reading a lot about uh like Judd Apetel and how he's like he's been like a comedy fan for like his whole life. And I thought that was like, oh, that's so cool that he did stand up and then he wrote all these great, you know, TV shows. I'm like, that is cool. I wonder how that would be. I always like a challenge. I feel like a script is a huge undertaking. And I like writing too. My favorite part of stand-up is writing.
SPEAKER_16I don't like it at all.
SPEAKER_14No.
SPEAKER_16Oh my god.
SPEAKER_14Don't worry about it. Nobody can hear it. Except for us.
SPEAKER_02There's a storage uh above us, so they're probably in there like rearranging it.
SPEAKER_16Don't worry, Gilbert. Um, I no, I do I like writing a lot. Um the script I'm doing is just gonna be like 22 pages.
SPEAKER_14Oh, okay. How many words is that?
SPEAKER_16No more, no less. I have no idea. For a script, I don't know.
SPEAKER_14It's so interest interesting to see how I gotta I want to look more into about how much like the length of that of 22 pages.
SPEAKER_16It's 22 minutes.
SPEAKER_14It's 22 minutes?
SPEAKER_16Yeah, for a script, each page is about a minute.
SPEAKER_14Is it really? That's interesting.
SPEAKER_16But I like the idea that you're judging it by words. But like I turn in a script, I'm like, this is 5,000 words for my 5,000 word script.
SPEAKER_14You know why? Because I recently watched uh Almost Famous.
SPEAKER_16Okay.
SPEAKER_14Have you seen that?
SPEAKER_16Oh, but so by article, yeah, that would make sense.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Because they would get paid by the word.
SPEAKER_14Right. So I thought about that when the guy calls the kid and he's like, I need 4,000 words by blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_16Which is not crazy.
SPEAKER_14Yeah. And I'm like, 4,000 words? Oh my god, it's a lot.
SPEAKER_16But it really isn't, right?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_16I mean, if you're doing an like an interview style article, I don't imagine. I also have no idea.
SPEAKER_08You know what I'm gonna do?
SPEAKER_16No idea at all, and I don't even know why I'm saying anything about it really.
SPEAKER_14And you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take an episode. I'm gonna take an episode of the podcast, throw it into AI, sorry.
SPEAKER_16And no, actually, Gilbert, you're gonna take an episode of the podcast, listen to it, and you're gonna make a tally for every word that's said, and then you're gonna count.
SPEAKER_14They're gonna transcribe it, and then after they transcribe it, they're gonna they'll tell me how much how many words. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Whatever.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_02How many words we talked, all of us? And then what?
SPEAKER_14And then end my subscription. Only use it for the free trial and never go back.
SPEAKER_02I wonder if they're gonna make like an ethical AI.
SPEAKER_16That's a really great question.
SPEAKER_06That's awesome.
SPEAKER_16That's awesome. But it's but I'm being serious. They're like, don't worry, this one uses fossil stuff.
SPEAKER_02This one's organic.
SPEAKER_16Did you get bit? No, this is from yesterday.
SPEAKER_02Okay, got it.
SPEAKER_16I'm so sorry. No, I'm just uh don't look at me.
SPEAKER_02Okay, sorry, I won't put the camera on you while you're scratching. Scratching my ankle. I'm using like a scratch scratch. I'm really itchy. It's bad. It is yeah, it's like under the under.
SPEAKER_14When I put that as my note the other day on Instagram, like people thought I was joking. What? I was like really serious. What did I say? I said that it's kind of scary that uh that you scratch like your dad with like a knife. Oh, with the knife? Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Amber, you're using the knife?
SPEAKER_14She used a knife to scratch her back.
SPEAKER_02Amber's a self-backstabber.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Well, somebody doesn't scratch my back. Somebody's ha has to. I'm just kidding. He does. No. I I need a scratch. I scratch on anything. I'm like a bear.
SPEAKER_16Now, since this is my first time meeting you, are you guys a couple?
SPEAKER_02No, we're siblings.
SPEAKER_16Yeah.
SPEAKER_02No, just kidding.
SPEAKER_16So that was my other thing. Because like I was like, yeah, this could also make sense. This is just Gilbert's other sister. No. But the whole sister story, you're just like, wow, you did that to your sister.
SPEAKER_02Like your sister? No, we're we are a couple. Cool. Yeah. It's gonna be seven years. Wow.
SPEAKER_16Next month. So how okay. Yeah, yeah. How old are we? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I'm 35.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_14How old am I? 34. 34.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02We're not a full year part, but we're lucky the record show they're not a full year part.
SPEAKER_16Um cool. And you guys do a podcast. That's fun.
SPEAKER_14You've been what helping me for like four years already? Three years?
SPEAKER_02Three, four years, yeah.
unknownFour years.
SPEAKER_02You kind of got um I got bamboozled into doing this. Yeah, you're hired. No.
SPEAKER_16For no pay. Yeah, for no pay. And no back scratches.
SPEAKER_14Exactly. It's kind of like you're you're kind of like doing comedy right now. See, you don't get paid now.
SPEAKER_16That's better. You're getting you're getting stage time.
SPEAKER_14This is stage time. You're getting an hour.
SPEAKER_16I'm okay. Yeah, Amber, you're running your hour right now.
SPEAKER_14You're getting an hour.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna put the give you guys the light. No, he only says that because recently I've been saying, like, oh, you know what? I think if I did stand up, I'd kill it. And he'd be like, do it. And then I'm like, nah. Okay. I feel like I it it's just not for me. Well, but sometimes I think of funny things and I tell him and he laughs, and I'm like, Well, a lot of people do it and it's not for them.
SPEAKER_16That's true. Yeah, a lot of comics do it, and you're like, wow, this is not for you. And they just do it anyway.
SPEAKER_02I just can't, I don't know how you guys go up there and like do it. Um because I couldn't.
SPEAKER_16I want to say that it is just confidence, but I haven't ever been a confident person.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, that's kind of interesting how that happens. I heard somebody say that they started doing comedy and they lost confidence.
SPEAKER_06I made them a worse person with their life and their ego.
SPEAKER_14Who did I hear that from? Was it on this podcast?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. This is the first time I heard it.
SPEAKER_14It was another podcast.
SPEAKER_02I just think it's hard. It's like you being vulnerable.
SPEAKER_16I love the idea of like a good, like confident, happy person. They're like, what if I don't I see some funny stuff sometimes, and then go do stand-up and they're like, wait, I oh, uh I'm not I maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was, and then they could have just not done this completely unnecessary thing.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. It's it's stress that I would not want to put on myself. Sure. I think that's what that's what it is.
SPEAKER_14I need stress.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you do.
SPEAKER_14It makes me like normal. I like to be always on the go. But then I don't. It just makes me upset that I have to do it.
SPEAKER_02But then when you're not doing it, you're gonna be able to do it.
SPEAKER_14But when I'm not yeah, I'm just upset.
SPEAKER_02See, Nobby, I'm good with not doing anything.
SPEAKER_14How was your first time on stage?
SPEAKER_16My first time on stage ever.
SPEAKER_14But you started very young, didn't you?
SPEAKER_16I did. So I started when I was um 16, technically. That is going to move.
SPEAKER_14That's so cool.
SPEAKER_16Wow. Thank I mean That's really rad. Thank you. Thanks. I so I was at a chicken wing restaurant.
SPEAKER_14Nice.
SPEAKER_16And they were doing an open mic, and I went up and I was it's so cute. I can you can hear you can hear that I'm not breathing. And I'm just talking through not breathing. No breath work, no idea how to do any of it. And I'm holding my little notebook open, reading, reading from it. And it's all observational because I have have lived no life yet. I have no experiences to draw from. Um and then they started running a blender in the chicken restaurant restaurant.
SPEAKER_14And I was what are you blending? Yeah.
SPEAKER_16And that probably got the biggest laugh. Because I no, really, what are you blending?
SPEAKER_14Uh-huh. Oh, you said that?
SPEAKER_16Yeah. Um then I was like, wow, this is for me. This is for me. All the all these uh 40 to 50 year old men in here telling their tales. And then also me. Comedy was a lot different back then.
SPEAKER_14How so? How was it different?
SPEAKER_16There just really weren't any, like maybe more so in LA, because I was just kind of doing it like on the outskirts of LA. I'm from Orange County.
SPEAKER_14What years was this?
SPEAKER_16If I was 16, it would have been 2014.
SPEAKER_14Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_16So it's just really different. Pre-pandemic and everything, so there weren't like young women pursuing it as much as there are now. Um but uh I yeah, took time off and then got back into it uh just like three years ago.
SPEAKER_14Oh, nice. Yeah. Okay. How being a this being different, like stand-up being different like how was it different?
SPEAKER_16I think like crowd work is so big now. That's one thing. Um having to be have like a real social media presence is huge. I also I don't know if I'm the best, like measure I I wouldn't be the best at measuring like how different it is, really, because I was a teenager and I didn't have any friends in comedy because who wants like it would be like guys your age. Like how can I hang out with a 16-year-old girl going with a mic? So maybe you would, I don't know. Amber. No. Let the record show Gilbert would not hang out with a 16-year-old girl at a chicken wing restaurant. At a chicken wing restaurant.
unknownDoing an open mic.
SPEAKER_14So I just I'd probably be the one turning the blender on.
SPEAKER_16Get her out of here. Silence her. Um so yeah, I didn't I didn't there was no socializing for me in it. I would just take my friends and we would go and I would I also felt like an only child in it. So coming into a whole scene of other comics was weird um later on.
SPEAKER_14But you were a fan of it, right? Oh yeah. You're a huge fan.
SPEAKER_16Huge fan.
SPEAKER_14Do you think the like mainstream whatever you were a fan of that well obviously that changed, right? Because with time, you know, most things change.
SPEAKER_16Well, as I grew up, like I wanna say from like 13 to yeah, my early adulthood, we saw this like huge um like comedy boom. You know, I wanna say that like in the early 2000s, comedy was not as nearly as revered revered as it is now. Um and now people are, you know, they go crazy over it. Like they they're taking it so seriously. Um comedians are winning Peabody Awards.
SPEAKER_14Yeah. They're on I mean their interview well, but also the space of podcast has really changed that podcast.
SPEAKER_16I'm kind of wonder I'm curious as to when the the bubble's gonna burst on that. Right. Maybe it kind of already has.
SPEAKER_14I think so. Yeah. Yeah. It's if it hasn't already, it will in the next like now.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, because people will just be like, I just want to watch videos. I just want to take my phone off a brick and watch videos and and ask AI to make me a stand-up comedian and on my phone and Okay, I wouldn't do that. What?
SPEAKER_14Isaiah, I wouldn't do that.
SPEAKER_16You know, you wouldn't do it, but uh-huh.
SPEAKER_14There's like some people where you're you're like, I don't know. That sounds like something AI would say.
SPEAKER_16Like you say it suspiciously, oh that sounds like something AI would say. I'm like You're not sure if they're a real person or not.
SPEAKER_14Just the brick has turned me into like challenging reality.
SPEAKER_16You throw a brick at somebody that you think is AI, it goes through them, they're actually a hologram.
SPEAKER_14I'm like hosting a show and be like, alright, that's something AI would say, but alright.
SPEAKER_16They talk about airplane food.
SPEAKER_14They're like What do you think was flying the airplane, dude? Computer? I don't know.
SPEAKER_16I'll that joke crash and burn. Anyway, Anne Heish. Um We gotta lay her to rest.
SPEAKER_06Sorry.
SPEAKER_14Um Chavez is in some hot water, uh, ladies and gentlemen.
SPEAKER_02Um why are you pronouncing him? Uh you're announcing him.
SPEAKER_14I don't know. Because I'm just like, huh.
SPEAKER_02I'm not in all, I'm not I'm not shocked. No. I'm not shocked. Who? Cesar Chavez? Oh. No. Now you're Travis. Caesar Chavez. That's why he said that's why it sounded like Travis. Caesar Chavez.
SPEAKER_16Yeah. Why?
SPEAKER_02Tell me all about it. Wait, you don't know what's going on?
SPEAKER_16So I don't watch the news, I get my news from comics. You get your news from TikTok like me. Truly, just open mic comics. By the time it gets to me, it's only the facts. Because like some comic can say, like, we dropped a bomb on Iran, and it was really big, but not as big as my dick. So I'm like, okay, okay, okay. So I know that we dropped a bomb on Iran. It's real.
SPEAKER_02And I know that it wasn't as big as that guy's dick. No, it uh it was it yesterday? Yesterday, right? Uh yeah. So there's another activist that did activist stuff. Uh around like Cesar Chavez time movement.
SPEAKER_14It was March 18th.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yesterday. And she came out yesterday um at 90 years old um to declare that she had been like sexually assaulted by Cesar Chavez. And with her came other women that came forward. I mean, he's he's deceased now, um, but so a lot of people are like some people are questioning it, like she's a 90-year-old lady, what is she gonna remember? And then a lot of people are like, Yeah, we knew it. Like, I I don't doubt it. I don't doubt it at all because he was a sketchy man to begin with. Um, so now they're like mobilizing to change street names and that's what's like uh crazy to me.
SPEAKER_14It's like how many, how many schools were named after him?
SPEAKER_16How many like so many community gardens?
SPEAKER_14Community gardens, free book, like those book birdhouse things.
SPEAKER_16Oh god, free books. This is we our society's taking a hit in this. Yeah, like what are we gonna call those free so now they're gonna leave a book?
SPEAKER_02So they already changed Cesar Chavez Day. They're like officially changing it, and it'll be farm worker day.
SPEAKER_14There you go. There you go, Kelly.
SPEAKER_02Oh, so maybe it'll all change to farm worker. Oh good. She's like, I could sleep at night.
SPEAKER_14Is that really your last name?
SPEAKER_16Yeah. That's right. I love my name. Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Have you asked like your parents where it came from?
SPEAKER_16Oh, I know where it came from.
SPEAKER_14Yeah? Where did it come from?
SPEAKER_16Someone at some point was a farmer.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16And it really stuck. And it was just like, hey, probably really good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_14I have a friend named uh his last name is Freeman. Come on. Freeman. And it's like if he was like really good at being like a free man.
SPEAKER_16Why was he such a free spirit?
SPEAKER_14Yeah. Yeah. That's also a good one.
SPEAKER_02We do wonder from the floor.
SPEAKER_16Oh, free man over there. I'm gonna change my last name. A lot of these last names are just people come being bad at coming up with nicknames.
SPEAKER_14That's true.
SPEAKER_02Well, I found out recently that our last name that I I uh what is it called? I I look up to um was act is actually not like our family's lineage's last name. It was given by this lady that owned like land, and then our ancestor worked for her, and then at some point she's like, Oh, just take my last name so it'll be easier for you. And they're like, Okay. So now I don't know what our last name is.
SPEAKER_14Let's make one up.
SPEAKER_02No, but I really thought, like, oh that's not even don't even entertain my ideas. This is my last name, and then somebody's like, Yeah, that's not really our last name.
SPEAKER_14Oh, so it's not.
SPEAKER_02I mean, like, lineage-wise, it's not.
SPEAKER_14I'm gonna change my last name anyways.
SPEAKER_16To what?
SPEAKER_02To my middle name.
SPEAKER_16Super flat. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02Oh let's just make up a mid a last name when we get married, and that's it.
SPEAKER_14You know what? I'm I like that idea.
SPEAKER_16So you guys have discussed marriage.
SPEAKER_14Yeah.
SPEAKER_16When do you think that'll happen?
SPEAKER_02You better do it fast before we all die. Well, apparently there's gonna be this new law. There's gonna be a law now in effect soon. Oh gosh, there's gonna be a law now. That after you're um five years together, that you're like married.
SPEAKER_14I feel like my sister. My sister was saying that in like the 90s, dude.
SPEAKER_02Well, Trump did it. They they already talked about it.
SPEAKER_14He's like, why, why? What that doesn't even make sense.
SPEAKER_16What like gay couples after they've been together for five years, they can just married.
SPEAKER_14But what about this?
SPEAKER_16That's pretty sick. Actually, that's really woke that he would do that. That he would do that.
SPEAKER_02I don't think he knows that he did that. Yeah, he has no idea.
SPEAKER_14Okay, so say if I wasn't, if I we didn't want to get married legally like that. What if how would we be able to legally break up as boyfriend and girlfriend before that time? You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. I don't know how that shit works.
SPEAKER_16I've just seen that it sounds like a domestic partnership type thing. Yeah. You can say, like, well, we've been together for five years.
SPEAKER_02Because I think domestic partnerships are like 10 years. After 10 years, you can like file things as like domestic partnerships. Oh, so it sounds like then they just shortened it.
SPEAKER_14Okay. Cool. So we're gonna we're gonna have like a gay relationship.
SPEAKER_16Gilbert was so scared that like say you guys broke up tomorrow and be like, nah, I'm gonna file divorce papers. Amber's gonna make me pay alimony.
SPEAKER_14It's the paperwork. It's the paperwork, it's a lot of paperwork.
SPEAKER_02Um, I don't know when we're gonna get married to answer your question. Well, when you have babies. No babies. Yeah, no.
SPEAKER_16I no longer you have your back knife. I'm like scratching my back. I'm like, ow. Sorry, I'm scratching my legs. Throw a knife and hits the wall right behind me.
SPEAKER_02Um I'm dancing like um Brittany Spears when she dances.
SPEAKER_16I love that. I love that. I love that she's speaking of free man, this free woman, Brittany Spears. Free woman, Britney Spears. She's dancing with a knife. Have you ever seen her dance with a knife?
SPEAKER_13No, I want to see it.
SPEAKER_16Yes, of all the videos that we're just pulling. Put it on loop in the background. Oh, it's so good. No, yeah, no babies.
SPEAKER_02We we are gonna get married, though. It is in our um in our things to do. Gilbert asked me to marry him a year into our relationship, and I was like, No. It's like you was like, what? And then he asked me again the following year, and I still said no. Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_16And they haven't even asked me to help you on your podcast.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm like, I'm not even part of your podcast. If you want to get married, and then um year three came, and then I was like, okay, I'm ready. And then he's like, nah. I was like, ow.
SPEAKER_16The push and pull of this relationship.
SPEAKER_14And I'll get to know you.
SPEAKER_02He's also gonna know me after. Dancing with knives. There you go. I bobecita.
SPEAKER_14Bodecita, what?
SPEAKER_02She's having a psychotic break.
SPEAKER_14We all are. It's 2026.
SPEAKER_06Oh, awesome. Oh, it's so she's so cool.
SPEAKER_14Okay, this song is awesome.
SPEAKER_16I get so scared with the dogs in the background.
SPEAKER_02She straps one of them. Imagine how many times she like like poked herself before she got it right.
SPEAKER_16And she says, Don't worry, they are not real knives. But they sound like real knives.
SPEAKER_02I'm sure she poked herself quite a few times.
SPEAKER_13I could just see the dude like holding the camera, and he's all like cut off. His shirt's like in it's barely holding on to his body. You're doing good, honey. You're doing really good.
SPEAKER_02There's another one. But I love it. I like the clanking.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, that's pretty cool. We need knives in here.
SPEAKER_02No, we don't. Yeah, you know what this room needs? We need more knives. I look at that picture here.
SPEAKER_13She looks like she looks pretty cool in that one.
SPEAKER_06It's awesome. There's several videos.
SPEAKER_14Wait, she has she's in a different outfit in that one.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, she posts several ones.
SPEAKER_14Oh, she made this a series?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_13That's a great.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god. I'm gonna have to do that. You have to get Brittany Spears with knife tattoo.
SPEAKER_06Oh shit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_14So we're going to a tattoo party this Sunday.
SPEAKER_16I'm gonna put it on my arms so when I do stand up and I'm holding the mic. It's just very like it's so good. I love it so much.
SPEAKER_02Is it the same one?
SPEAKER_14No, there's just oh that one's cool. I like it because it has the sparkles.
SPEAKER_16My body, my choice, too.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. She kind of looks like um what's the one that uh married the old man and then he died and she became rich?
SPEAKER_16Anna Nicole Smith. Anna Nicole Smith. I also love her.
SPEAKER_02I do too, but it's giving me Anna Nicole Smith vibes. This one. They made her a little whiter set. I think that's why. It's different, right?
SPEAKER_16Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Oh, I like that one. Well, I like the cat one. Where is a cat?
SPEAKER_02Where? Is it like a cat?
SPEAKER_06They mean to do it like a cat.
SPEAKER_14Oh, I like that one.
SPEAKER_06That cat doesn't.
SPEAKER_14Whoa.
SPEAKER_02I that one's scary. Yeah, that one's like uh me to click on it. The one where she's shaving her head off.
SPEAKER_14I like that. If I'm if I'm gonna get a Britney Spears tattoo. Well, look at that one, Drew Barrymore.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_16So you said you guys are gonna go to it get tattoos?
SPEAKER_14Tattoo party on Sunday in a in a couple days.
SPEAKER_16Tattoo artists or just people that have tattoos at the party.
SPEAKER_02Somebody asked me that. Yeah, no, somebody else other than you. Noelia asked me, she's like, because I was like, Oh, do you have any tattoos? She's like, No. I was like, Oh, I'm gonna invite you to tattoo party, and she's like, Do I have to have tattoos? Yeah, no, it's a tattoo artist, and then you go and then you choose tattoos.
SPEAKER_16That's cool.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, some people are like, Oh, I already have what I want, and I'm I'm just gonna choose there.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, I don't I don't know what to choose.
SPEAKER_02It's because from what I heard, is like she has like boxes full of like small designs. Okay. So that's what I want to do.
SPEAKER_14I just want to But this is what I understand. If what if somebody like picks something like super extravagant and it takes out it takes hours? I don't
SPEAKER_02Think I think she I think she puts a limit. Like oh like you can't get a full back piece done.
SPEAKER_16But I'm I'll go and I'll be wherever it's happening, like in a little curtained off space, and we're just moving a stencil for like an hour.
SPEAKER_14Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_16Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And that way it pisses everybody. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Could you do that?
unknownCould you do that?
SPEAKER_02Can you redo that?
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02You'll be fine. You're already, it hasn't even happened. It's supposed to be something fun, and you're already stressing out about it.
SPEAKER_14I'm stressing out, dude. God. I don't know what I'm gonna get.
SPEAKER_02Maybe you gotta dance with knives a little.
SPEAKER_14Dance with knives. That's what my last name stands for.
SPEAKER_02That's what you're gonna change it.
SPEAKER_14Dance with knives. Dances with knives. Hit me, baby, one more time.
SPEAKER_16My loneliness is stabbing me. It's stabbing me.
SPEAKER_14It's killing me.
SPEAKER_16I know, but she's with knives.
SPEAKER_14That's true. I don't know what I'm gonna get.
SPEAKER_02You don't have to know. That's the fun part.
SPEAKER_14You do have to know. No, this thing's gonna go in my body for the rest of my life.
SPEAKER_02Well, you choose there, that's the fun part. Right?
unknownKelly?
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Ooh, can I get can I get his face on?
SPEAKER_16She's not gonna do big pieces right on your chest. It's actually like that way in the future when you wear the shirt and you take it off.
SPEAKER_13That'd be awesome.
SPEAKER_16Ask AI to do to do it. Just kidding. I'm such a bummer. I don't like that. I'm not into that. And then at work, people use Chat GPT to send emails. And I'm like, you guys, think about it for a second. Like, just that's all that's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_14You're like a vegan, but for computer.
SPEAKER_16Well, and I'm a pescatarian.
SPEAKER_14What about this?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I like that one. I have um oh cool. Oh, that's fun.
SPEAKER_14What about this? I like that. Yeah? Where? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Now it just is No. Oh, not in your neck.
SPEAKER_14The back neck part.
SPEAKER_02I'm too fat to the neck tattoo.
SPEAKER_16It's gonna be like half of a smiley face. My friend that that recently passed, um, he had a neck tattoo.
SPEAKER_04Oh, really?
SPEAKER_16And uh I was saying, yeah, I'd like to get a tattoo that kind of memorializes him in some way. Like some maybe a joke that we did together. I don't know. Um, but then I first thought was, oh, I just get his tattoo on my neck. I get him with a tattoo, and that's my tattoo.
SPEAKER_02Him with a tattoo, neck tattoo on you. Wait, how do I say that?
SPEAKER_16It's a tattoo of him, and you can see his neck tattoo, and that's what's on my neck.
SPEAKER_02On your neck.
SPEAKER_14Yeah, you could just say that uh yeah, I have his tattoo. And you but you haven't. You have it on your cut out the beans.
SPEAKER_16I just kidding. Someone actually did make that joke. Someone's it's gross, morbid, whatever. Yeah, just like what you said. Sorry.
SPEAKER_02Oh, why don't you just cut it out? Just kidding. I'm kidding. LOL. LOL the record show, Amber was just kidding. I am just kidding. I have a social security number and oh my god. And I'm kidding about that. Why are you all scared?
SPEAKER_14I'm just thinking about that marriage thing. Like five years.
SPEAKER_02Now you're scared because you're married.
SPEAKER_14No, I'm not scared. It's just it's it's interesting because it's like common law, right? I thought that thing was uh always a thing. Like common law marriage.
SPEAKER_02That's what we're saying. That it I think it was ten years and now it's like five.
SPEAKER_16I don't know. No one's ever asked me about this because no one's interested.
SPEAKER_14I wonder what the point was.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm single. You want us to put a call you want us to put a call to action?
SPEAKER_14Call to action for Kelly.
SPEAKER_02Kelly Farmer. She has a cool last name. We could take it. Would you want your husband to take your last name?
SPEAKER_16Yeah. That's what I said. For me, it'll be like we're siblings. Isn't that kind of odd? Isn't that odd? I maybe I'm the only one thinking that way. Yeah, anyway, I want him to take my last name.
SPEAKER_14It's a non-negotiable.
SPEAKER_16Um, or a woman.
SPEAKER_14You have to.
SPEAKER_16Or yeah, or a woman. Take it. Or a woman.
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_16Sorry.
SPEAKER_06I'm all assuming. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_16Or a person.
SPEAKER_14Or a person.
SPEAKER_16Sorry, Cal. You guys invite me in here. You're talking about Chat GBT. And then I'm gonna marry a man.
SPEAKER_06It's disgusting in here. Like, what are the vibes in here?
SPEAKER_02Just like these freaking millennials. I'm sorry, Kelly. I'm sorry. Out of all the things, I'm sorry for. I'm sorry, I assume.
SPEAKER_15Apologize.
SPEAKER_02That you want to marry this in. Just to set the record straight. I don't like I don't like men. I only like that man. No, I do like men. Wait, I already I backpedaled myself. Nothing. I'm gonna be quiet. Yeah, thanks. Um no, I just think men are gross. Yeah. They are. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_14They are. You know what? Um I am a man myself.
SPEAKER_02And but I I love you.
SPEAKER_14We are we're gross.
SPEAKER_16You heard it here, folks. You heard it first. You heard it here.
SPEAKER_14Gross. Um all right. You good?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm good.
SPEAKER_14We gotta go.
SPEAKER_02I already said too much about myself.
SPEAKER_14You did all incriminating stuff that's gonna be on the internet for your don't clip that. I'm gonna clip this part and I'm gonna play it in your eulogy video.
SPEAKER_02That's not what I meant. It's almost like I don't like men. I do like men. They just stink and they're nasty.
SPEAKER_14I almost think I showered twice today.
SPEAKER_02You smell really good, actually. I probably stink more than you do.
SPEAKER_16I like I like men. I do date them sometimes, and um, you know, they're old they'll be old sometimes. That's right. I attract men that are um on the autism spectrum. Okay. Um, or they don't have a car. Okay. Got it. And then I attract um actually that's it. Okay. That's it.
SPEAKER_02That's uh if you're um a human with a car, what else? What other qualities would you want? A car.
SPEAKER_14Well, a lot of people that drive listen to podcasts, so that's good.
SPEAKER_16Ooh. So if you've liked what you've heard today.
SPEAKER_14I like this. We're just gonna do a series where we Yeah, next time we have Kelly, we can do like a call in.
SPEAKER_06Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, I'm having a really good time.
SPEAKER_14Call in now.
SPEAKER_02What if we just do what if we do like um like the dating game like back then? Like you know, like the 70s one? We should do like I mean we have space.
SPEAKER_16We line up three no, you haven't seen out there.
SPEAKER_02We'll show you out there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_16Is there like a room full of handsome people out there? Yeah, there's a there's a whole set.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_16Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, we could do that. Um, it doesn't have to be you. Sorry, I'm all right.
SPEAKER_02She was all excited.
SPEAKER_14Let's do a dating game show. Yes. I like the way you think. I like the way you think. This is great. We should do it.
SPEAKER_16All right. Make it happen. Yeah. What do they say about invention? That like what is it? It's like necessity is the mother of invention or something. Oh yeah. Yeah. Me being single is the mother of you guys having a dating show. There you go. Like, you know, w we recorded a podcast episode with this really sad single girl. And then we were like, we were like, we gotta fix this. Not for her, but in some way. We gotta It'd be really entertaining to see someone like meet someone, not Kelly, but your story can help the masses, Kelly.
SPEAKER_02Think about everybody else. I can host it.
SPEAKER_16I'd like the new Cesar Travis minus the scandal. I guess I just want to be Cesar Travis minus the scandal. Yeah, minus the scandal.
SPEAKER_14I could host it as well.
SPEAKER_16He was a little racist. Okay, well, I want to be only the good parts.
SPEAKER_02Got it.
SPEAKER_16Do you want to just be the street names and the schools? And the community gardens and the free book bird houses.
SPEAKER_14The bird houses that they keep the corporate racist. He made birds homeless because of the books.
SPEAKER_02The rehoming birds. I don't know. Okay, I'm done.
SPEAKER_14You know what I heard the other day? I heard somebody say No, never mind. I won't say that.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, it's true, though. On the in the suburbs, in the suburbs, people were like, I don't care about birds. I want to put my old beat-up copy of the Da Vinci Code in there.
SPEAKER_14It was a book.
SPEAKER_02Wait, so the booknooks were bird houses?
SPEAKER_14They look like bird houses to me.
SPEAKER_16Oh, that's why you said it. I was like, sorry, I really wanted to make that Da Vinci Code joke. What were you gonna say? Oh, go for it. Sorry.
SPEAKER_14I already did it. I stepped on the Nope.
SPEAKER_16It's over. What were you gonna say?
SPEAKER_14Bring it back. I was gonna say, um, we can play videos on the game show and ask, what do you think about this video?
SPEAKER_02It's all I seen it. I seen, sorry. Whatever's flying in here flew in front of the camera. Your friend is here.
SPEAKER_14Yeah? In front of whose mine.
SPEAKER_02No, in front of yours.
SPEAKER_16And the thing is big.
SPEAKER_14But was it on the camera? Oh, there it is.
SPEAKER_16Oh, I thought you said it. Where's it? There it is.
SPEAKER_14It's right there.
SPEAKER_16The culprit.
SPEAKER_14There he is. He's right there.
SPEAKER_16What'd you think I said? I thought you said the friend.
SPEAKER_14Oh, you got him.
SPEAKER_16I hit him, but I don't know. Is it big? No.
SPEAKER_02It's like tiny. Oh, well, that's what bit me. Okay, sorry.
SPEAKER_14It's just my it's just that was videos of the that was important. Yeah. It's just videos of my stand-up. Alright.
SPEAKER_06That's the DJ show. Whoever agrees more on the video, that's who you win a date with. And you disqualify anyone that doesn't think it's funny.
SPEAKER_14Yeah. Like, I don't get it. Ow. And then there's like a button I press and then they fall on the ground.
SPEAKER_02They have to go up because we're already at the lower level. So they get abducted up like an alien.
SPEAKER_14They gotta walk up the stairs so I can't carry people.
SPEAKER_02It's okay.
SPEAKER_14We get Ricky to carry people.
SPEAKER_02Alright.
SPEAKER_14Alright. Uh, Kelly, this was really fun. No, I legit had a great time.
SPEAKER_16I did too. I had a lot of fun.
SPEAKER_14Thanks for coming out and doing that. Um, we gotta have you back.
SPEAKER_16I would love to. Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_14Uh awesome.
SPEAKER_16Very good. And we shake on it.
SPEAKER_14We shake. We shake on it. Uh tell us where we can find you and where you got coming at.
SPEAKER_16Yeah, uh, you can find me on Instagram at Melly underscore farter. It's a plant by name. Melly Farmer. Um, that's where I post about war I'm gonna be doing stand-up and stuff. Um maybe in a town near you if you live in Los Angeles.
SPEAKER_02Anything in particular that you have coming up.
SPEAKER_16I'm gonna be at uh West Egg Comedy Theater on the 26th uh on Calafonga. I'm gonna be um booked that's actually kinda it. Book me on your shows. Oh there you go.
SPEAKER_02Booker on your shows.
SPEAKER_16Thank you. If you want to date Kelly Farmer, then it's gonna get book me on your show and then I will go on a date.
SPEAKER_15It's at a cost, guys. This is a cost of love.
SPEAKER_16It's doing giving me a tight seven. Yeah. Five.
SPEAKER_02Go, you okay?
SPEAKER_13I was just thinking about the game show now.
SPEAKER_02Just like the backdrop. You still got 30 seconds of your show.
SPEAKER_14The backdrop can be great. That's all I got right now. Okay. The backdrop stuff. Um, this is also my fun.
SPEAKER_02Me too. Uh did you have fun? I did. I got all bit up, but I'm good.
SPEAKER_14Um, what do I got going on? Just this podcast. Just the podcast.
SPEAKER_02Listen to this podcast.
SPEAKER_14Book me on your shows too. How about that?
SPEAKER_02And have gone a date with you.
SPEAKER_14How about that? Amber food.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna date with you. Let's embrace food. No drinks, no coffee dates.
SPEAKER_16I want to eat over on your show and buy Amber some food.
SPEAKER_13The money peace and love.
SPEAKER_14See you guys there.
unknownBye. Cool.